The Gray Hair of Experience is the Splendor...

I’m glad this week is just about over in a couple of respects.  Trying to get back in the swing of things for college has not been easy.  Between my new meds combo and just trying to move my schedule around for college I’ve been battling uphill all week this week.  I’ve got to figure out when I can study and do it.  I know that there are some things I’ll have to set aside too so I can study.

I’ve been on the go, go, go for the past however many years now, so many years in fact that I’ve lost count.  Now all of a sudden just stopping my spinning world for college is not going to be easy.  Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a pretty restless person.  Due in part to my ADHD & my Bipolar disorder I’ve pretty much have always been a pretty wound up person.  I used to joke that if I’d slow down I could be labeled a “Type A” personality!

Thanks in no small part to me receiving some really great help with my ADHD and my Bipolar I am a whole lot less restless then I used to be.  I was kicking back here at my computer tonight and I started having flashbacks to what my life used to be like and some of the terrible things that I did before I was diagnosed and treated.  Remembering back to some of that garbage got me pretty shook up.  Like Diana told me the other day “I have forgiven those people in my heart but the forgiving is the easy part because the forgetting stays with a person.”

I try not to focus on the past.  In fact I work hard at ignoring my past.  The problem is my past is still there and yes, at times my past still haunts me.  I’m pretty sure the reason the enemy was able to sneak up and throw my past back at me is due in a large part because I’m struggling to get going in college now.  

I just sent off an email for help to our Disability Services Director @ Cowely saying I was in trouble.  I know that if I don’t jump in and use some of the services available to me I’ll be in deep trouble at college.  One thing that I am doing is following my wife’s advice (mandate) that I drop my weekend seminar classes so I can study on the weekend and still have time to be a husband and a father.  That part even more important then college!

On a lighter note, I was reading my Proverbs today and Proverbs 20:29 made me chuckle.  “The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.”  Looking in the mirror I’d say that by the looks of my goatee & now even some of my hair it’s time to start enjoying my splendor!!!

Be Blessed!

BIG SCOTT