Woo Hoo! I did it! I passed my big test in my computer mechanics class today! I’m still alive and moving forward now in college. This test was huge for me. If I could get past this test the door would be open for me to keep moving forward in my hardest class this semester. I have always believed that this test would set the tone and the pace for the rest of this semester. Now that I’ve got past this test I’ve got new hope that I can make it through the rest of this class and semester.
On a different note I’m anxiously awaiting my State baseball meeting tomorrow night. Tomorrow night I get to get together with a bunch of fellow umps, talk baseball, and find out all of the new rules for this coming year. Actually I’ve already seen all of the rules change and there are only a couple of new rules that will have any effect that I can see. The rest of the rules changes are just little things that won’t effect the way the game is played.
Reading in Proverbs tonight I get to read one of my all time favorite chapters in the Bible. Proverbs 31 talks about “The wife of a noble character.” Verses 10, 11, & 12 really jump out at me and pretty much sum up how I feel about my wife. “Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is worth more than precious rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She will not hinder him but help him all her life.” I can only hope and pray that all men could feel that way about their wives.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Enjoying Parts of College
I actually had a pretty good time at college tonight. I started off this evening with my English Comp 1 class. I’ve got a great instructor who really makes it easy to understand what she’s teaching plus she’s great at coaxing good work out of a person. I was visiting with her after class and she informed me that she really thought that my blog writing was really good and she enjoyed reading it. That kind of made my day.
Now before you get carried away here saying that I just said that as a butter job because she’ll read this and give me a gold star or something, you’re right! No, no, no, just kidding! Sheesh! I’m not that bad! In fact she told me that she only gets to read my blog about once a week and then only if I let her know that I’ve put up something that she needs to see. So there! I’m off of the hook!
Last Monday evening was the first meeting for our Public Speaking class and I missed it due to home reasons. I was told by some of my classmates that I didn’t miss much and that it’s a boring class. I think tonight they all of a sudden realized that they had spoken just a little too soon. We were busy tonight! We didn’t have time to get bored! I thought that I wrote a lot in English Comp but after Public Speaking tonight I feel like I must have wrote enough to kill a tree. Who would have thought there was so much to write just to speak? Not me, that’s for sure!
I’ve decided pretty much that I’m going to change my major at Cowely back to Political Science which is what it’s been since 1998. I’m not strong in advanced math such as algebra and such and in fact with my ADHD any class such as Accounting where we have to sit and memorize rule after rule and equation after equation I can get lost really fast. With business I had what I felt was an unwinable battle ahead of me. I figured better to stick with what I know I can excel at then to try to tackle something and expect failure.
At Wichita State I think that I’m going to change my major to just a General Studies degree with an emphasis in both Political Science and Religion. I really feel that the Lord is going to use me to go out and preach in the future and a good, well rounded education will be invaluable there. Besides, working in Real Estate I feel that people will look more at the fact that you have a degree then what your degree is in.
Here’s another thing that I’m considering. If I ever decide to teach I’ve got my degree in General Education which I can use to get my teaching degree. I’m getting close to having enough college hours acquired that I can start working as a class Para-Professional and doing substitute teaching. One thing that I have considered is going to work for the Wichita School District and work in a classroom setting in the daytime and go to school at night.
If I do go the school route I’ve got my summers off to spend with my family and umpire baseball. For once it will be nice to have something to fall back upon besides driving a big old truck! Every time in the past when the economy took a downturn or something happened and I lost a job and I had to crawl back up in a truck it’s been hell on both my family and me.
Now that we’ve got my ADHD under control and we’re getting a pretty good handle on my Bipolar disorder I feel that I can now explore new horizons. I really feel that God has caused new doors to open, new horizons to appear, and a whole new world is now developing before my eyes. Even though the last few weeks have been pretty rough with my Bipolar, I am really starting to feel good about my future. The Lord has really given me a new hope!
All I’ve got to do is press on.
I hope you’re pressing on too!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Now before you get carried away here saying that I just said that as a butter job because she’ll read this and give me a gold star or something, you’re right! No, no, no, just kidding! Sheesh! I’m not that bad! In fact she told me that she only gets to read my blog about once a week and then only if I let her know that I’ve put up something that she needs to see. So there! I’m off of the hook!
Last Monday evening was the first meeting for our Public Speaking class and I missed it due to home reasons. I was told by some of my classmates that I didn’t miss much and that it’s a boring class. I think tonight they all of a sudden realized that they had spoken just a little too soon. We were busy tonight! We didn’t have time to get bored! I thought that I wrote a lot in English Comp but after Public Speaking tonight I feel like I must have wrote enough to kill a tree. Who would have thought there was so much to write just to speak? Not me, that’s for sure!
I’ve decided pretty much that I’m going to change my major at Cowely back to Political Science which is what it’s been since 1998. I’m not strong in advanced math such as algebra and such and in fact with my ADHD any class such as Accounting where we have to sit and memorize rule after rule and equation after equation I can get lost really fast. With business I had what I felt was an unwinable battle ahead of me. I figured better to stick with what I know I can excel at then to try to tackle something and expect failure.
At Wichita State I think that I’m going to change my major to just a General Studies degree with an emphasis in both Political Science and Religion. I really feel that the Lord is going to use me to go out and preach in the future and a good, well rounded education will be invaluable there. Besides, working in Real Estate I feel that people will look more at the fact that you have a degree then what your degree is in.
Here’s another thing that I’m considering. If I ever decide to teach I’ve got my degree in General Education which I can use to get my teaching degree. I’m getting close to having enough college hours acquired that I can start working as a class Para-Professional and doing substitute teaching. One thing that I have considered is going to work for the Wichita School District and work in a classroom setting in the daytime and go to school at night.
If I do go the school route I’ve got my summers off to spend with my family and umpire baseball. For once it will be nice to have something to fall back upon besides driving a big old truck! Every time in the past when the economy took a downturn or something happened and I lost a job and I had to crawl back up in a truck it’s been hell on both my family and me.
Now that we’ve got my ADHD under control and we’re getting a pretty good handle on my Bipolar disorder I feel that I can now explore new horizons. I really feel that God has caused new doors to open, new horizons to appear, and a whole new world is now developing before my eyes. Even though the last few weeks have been pretty rough with my Bipolar, I am really starting to feel good about my future. The Lord has really given me a new hope!
All I’ve got to do is press on.
I hope you’re pressing on too!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Sunday, January 29, 2006
1974 & Today
Excuse me while I date myself here a little bit. Keep in mind that I was just a young lad when the song that I’m about to talk about came out. The year was 1974. The Vietnam War had just ended and America was feeling good about itself again. Even though this was the period of the beginning of the “Energy Crisis” and Watergate was blowing up in President Nixon’s face we still seemed to be a happy nation.
Also in 1974 a Canadian singer/songwriter by the name of Gordon Lightfoot was taking America by storm. One of Gordon Lightfoot’s smash hits in 1974 was “Sundown.” Sundown was a song about a lady of the night that worked in a house of ill repute. Even though the song was about a lady the song had a recurring line in it that went:
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain.
The last line then goes:
Sometimes I think it's a sin
When I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.
Pastor Rob had a talk with me today. Pastor Rob basically confronted me with the same things my wife has been saying to me for the last three weeks or so. Pastor Rob knows that I’ve been having a huge problem lately with blowing appointments, oversleeping badly, breaking my word on doing what I said I would do, and just in general not living a somewhat normal life. Henceforth the Gordon Lightfoot song coming back to me.
I really do kind of feel like over the last three weeks or so I’ve been living the words of the song. I haven’t been feeling pain or anything else. I think I really fooled myself into thinking I was feeling better just because I wasn’t feeling any pain. Heck there were even times when I thought I was doing pretty good and maybe even making progress or as the song says “feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.”
I’ve learned that this is not uncommon for people with Bipolar disorder. I know that this is not uncommon for me. In writing my memoirs I found that I did this in 1998, 1996, & 1983. I guess the good thing is that at least I recognized it this time. Or should I say my loving wife and Pastor Rob recognized it and finally awakened me to what I’m doing.
I know that this is not the course that the Lord has laid for me. I’m reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” I’ve been assigned a new therapist. I’m told she’s pretty good. Monday I plan on contacting her and making an appointment to see her. Maybe she can help me come up with coping strategies so I can get out of this slump.
I’ve been in this slump before. Looking back I know it was direct intervention of God that got me out of my slump. In 1996 I lost my business and most everything I had. When it was all said and done I landed back in Wichita in a wonderful, caring church with a Pastor that encouraged me and lifted me up. In 1998 God put a wonderful Christian Brother, Craig Westhoff, in my life who kept speaking anointing and encouragement into me.
I suppose if all else fails it could be interesting to see what God does this time. BTW… I don’t blame God. God didn’t give me Bipolar disorder. God isn’t that kind of God. I know God loves me and cares for me. In God’s eyes this world is a sinful, decrepit place and it’s because of Man’s sin that we have these diseases and disorders that we do today.
I just simply trust in God that He will bring me healing in whichever way He chooses. If God chooses to bring me healing through a miracle again, that’s fine by me. If God chooses to work through doctors, therapists, and medicine, that’s fine by me too. God’s brought me a long ways. I know that God isn’t going to bring me this far and abandon me now. I have God’s word that He’s there for me always and that’s good enough for me.
For now, I’m just taking this struggle one day at a time, waiting on God, and doing my best, even it’s weak, to move on.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Also in 1974 a Canadian singer/songwriter by the name of Gordon Lightfoot was taking America by storm. One of Gordon Lightfoot’s smash hits in 1974 was “Sundown.” Sundown was a song about a lady of the night that worked in a house of ill repute. Even though the song was about a lady the song had a recurring line in it that went:
Sometimes I think it's a shame
When I get feelin' better when I'm feelin' no pain.
The last line then goes:
Sometimes I think it's a sin
When I feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.
Pastor Rob had a talk with me today. Pastor Rob basically confronted me with the same things my wife has been saying to me for the last three weeks or so. Pastor Rob knows that I’ve been having a huge problem lately with blowing appointments, oversleeping badly, breaking my word on doing what I said I would do, and just in general not living a somewhat normal life. Henceforth the Gordon Lightfoot song coming back to me.
I really do kind of feel like over the last three weeks or so I’ve been living the words of the song. I haven’t been feeling pain or anything else. I think I really fooled myself into thinking I was feeling better just because I wasn’t feeling any pain. Heck there were even times when I thought I was doing pretty good and maybe even making progress or as the song says “feel like I'm winnin' when I'm losin' again.”
I’ve learned that this is not uncommon for people with Bipolar disorder. I know that this is not uncommon for me. In writing my memoirs I found that I did this in 1998, 1996, & 1983. I guess the good thing is that at least I recognized it this time. Or should I say my loving wife and Pastor Rob recognized it and finally awakened me to what I’m doing.
I know that this is not the course that the Lord has laid for me. I’m reminded of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” I’ve been assigned a new therapist. I’m told she’s pretty good. Monday I plan on contacting her and making an appointment to see her. Maybe she can help me come up with coping strategies so I can get out of this slump.
I’ve been in this slump before. Looking back I know it was direct intervention of God that got me out of my slump. In 1996 I lost my business and most everything I had. When it was all said and done I landed back in Wichita in a wonderful, caring church with a Pastor that encouraged me and lifted me up. In 1998 God put a wonderful Christian Brother, Craig Westhoff, in my life who kept speaking anointing and encouragement into me.
I suppose if all else fails it could be interesting to see what God does this time. BTW… I don’t blame God. God didn’t give me Bipolar disorder. God isn’t that kind of God. I know God loves me and cares for me. In God’s eyes this world is a sinful, decrepit place and it’s because of Man’s sin that we have these diseases and disorders that we do today.
I just simply trust in God that He will bring me healing in whichever way He chooses. If God chooses to bring me healing through a miracle again, that’s fine by me. If God chooses to work through doctors, therapists, and medicine, that’s fine by me too. God’s brought me a long ways. I know that God isn’t going to bring me this far and abandon me now. I have God’s word that He’s there for me always and that’s good enough for me.
For now, I’m just taking this struggle one day at a time, waiting on God, and doing my best, even it’s weak, to move on.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Friday, January 27, 2006
I Can Do It! I Can Survive!
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I can hardly stand it!!! This unseasonably mild weather is giving me baseball fever that’s out of this world! It’s in the 50’s & low 60’s here in Kansas this week. We’re supposed to be having nasty blizzards, icy roads, kids staying home from school making snowmen and such. But it’s not happening! The weatherman is giving us perfect spring baseball weather. What’s a bonafide baseballaholic suppose to do!
I’ve been on the boards over at www.umpire.org chatting with the other umpires from around the world. Some of them are not much help. I keep hearing from this guy in Southern California telling me how many games he umpired last week and the week before. Hearing that only makes it a whole bunch worse!
I go to bed at night and I can’t sleep. Somehow my mind drifts around and sooner or later I start thinking about baseball. So much for getting to sleep any time soon! I’m not saying I’m in trouble here or anything but I think that I’ve got my wife worried!
My wife and I were out on the town tonight for a little R & R. I’m sure glad I’ve got a wife that loves me and has compassion on me. At my wife’s choosing we went and had a nice little meal at a sports bar where we could watch basketball. My wife knows I really enjoy basketball and my wife was probably thinking that if she could put basketball in front of me it might ease the pain a little. Bless my wife’s heart, what a compassionate thing to do!
Just to show you how great and compassionate of a wife I’ve got after dinner she let me go to Gart Sports and look at the new baseball gear and stuff for 2006. My wife even commented how handsome I looked in a new Nike baseball helmet! How could I not love a wife that gives me compliments like that!
Six weeks, just six, long, agonizing weeks until the first pitch! Last week it was seven, this week it’s only six. I made it another week. I can hang on. I can do it. I can survive! By the grace of God I will prevail!
Oh, btw… Pittsburg over Seattle by 10!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I’ve been on the boards over at www.umpire.org chatting with the other umpires from around the world. Some of them are not much help. I keep hearing from this guy in Southern California telling me how many games he umpired last week and the week before. Hearing that only makes it a whole bunch worse!
I go to bed at night and I can’t sleep. Somehow my mind drifts around and sooner or later I start thinking about baseball. So much for getting to sleep any time soon! I’m not saying I’m in trouble here or anything but I think that I’ve got my wife worried!
My wife and I were out on the town tonight for a little R & R. I’m sure glad I’ve got a wife that loves me and has compassion on me. At my wife’s choosing we went and had a nice little meal at a sports bar where we could watch basketball. My wife knows I really enjoy basketball and my wife was probably thinking that if she could put basketball in front of me it might ease the pain a little. Bless my wife’s heart, what a compassionate thing to do!
Just to show you how great and compassionate of a wife I’ve got after dinner she let me go to Gart Sports and look at the new baseball gear and stuff for 2006. My wife even commented how handsome I looked in a new Nike baseball helmet! How could I not love a wife that gives me compliments like that!
Six weeks, just six, long, agonizing weeks until the first pitch! Last week it was seven, this week it’s only six. I made it another week. I can hang on. I can do it. I can survive! By the grace of God I will prevail!
Oh, btw… Pittsburg over Seattle by 10!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Thursday, January 26, 2006
A Great Question!!!
I just had a question put to me that I thought that I’d pass on here along with my reply and some commentary. I know that I addressed something close to this question a few months ago but it’s important enough to share again. The question I received is “In general (I am just curious) if Bipolar Disorder gets worse or better as a person ages if it is not treated or treated incorrectly?”
Here’s my response. “I've read many reports that say that yes, Bipolar disorder does get worse with age if untreated. As for me I went untreated and undiagnosed until I was 42. Looking back that's exactly what happened to me, I just kept getting slowly and progressively worse and worse. I had a really wild Bipolar swing and crash when I was 21/22 years old. I also had some pretty bad swings and crashes when my wife divorced me in 1996 and again in 1998 when I was sidelined for the better part of a year do to surgery. I recovered from those crashes BUT I kept getting progressively worse until I had no choice but to seek treatment about a year ago.The absolute worst mistake I ever made in my life was to wait an extra 20 years to get help!!! To list what Bipolar disorder took from me in the last 25 years would take way more time and space then what we have here!” I guess you could say I’ve got pretty strong feelings now about getting help. Let me just say you’re not weak or anything else negative if you have something bothering you Mental Health wise if you seek help.
The advances that have been made in the last ten years in the mental health field are just astonishing. People that have had problems for years and years such as my self are now finding freedom! We are now receiving the freedom to be ourselves, to be successful, to lead a positive, wholesome, and healthy life! I can only imagine where I would be today if I would have had the help just ten short years ago that I have today!
If know one gets anything else out of this column than this, please pay attention here! I’ve got my life back and if you’re suffering from any kind of mental illness no matter how small or how big you to can have your life back! There is help available! If you know of someone that you think could use some help, please, by all means, pass this column along!
I live here in Kansas and here in Kansas we are so blessed to have a network of State sponsored mental health affiliates that are there to help irregardless of your ability of to pay or not to pay. Many other states have such networks available too. If you’re blessed with a job that provides benefits more then likely you’ve got a Mental Health rider on your insurance plan. Use it! It’s there for you to use! Many doctors today are cross trained to have a basic understanding of mental health issues and your family or primary care physician can be a great place to start.
So there you have it, my quarterly “Jump up on my soapbox” mental health speech. I can only hope and pray that it falls upon the ears and hearts that need to hear this and this will be the start of a great healing for someone. I know this, the Lord wants you to have a good and healthy life, including mental health and so do I!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Here’s my response. “I've read many reports that say that yes, Bipolar disorder does get worse with age if untreated. As for me I went untreated and undiagnosed until I was 42. Looking back that's exactly what happened to me, I just kept getting slowly and progressively worse and worse. I had a really wild Bipolar swing and crash when I was 21/22 years old. I also had some pretty bad swings and crashes when my wife divorced me in 1996 and again in 1998 when I was sidelined for the better part of a year do to surgery. I recovered from those crashes BUT I kept getting progressively worse until I had no choice but to seek treatment about a year ago.The absolute worst mistake I ever made in my life was to wait an extra 20 years to get help!!! To list what Bipolar disorder took from me in the last 25 years would take way more time and space then what we have here!” I guess you could say I’ve got pretty strong feelings now about getting help. Let me just say you’re not weak or anything else negative if you have something bothering you Mental Health wise if you seek help.
The advances that have been made in the last ten years in the mental health field are just astonishing. People that have had problems for years and years such as my self are now finding freedom! We are now receiving the freedom to be ourselves, to be successful, to lead a positive, wholesome, and healthy life! I can only imagine where I would be today if I would have had the help just ten short years ago that I have today!
If know one gets anything else out of this column than this, please pay attention here! I’ve got my life back and if you’re suffering from any kind of mental illness no matter how small or how big you to can have your life back! There is help available! If you know of someone that you think could use some help, please, by all means, pass this column along!
I live here in Kansas and here in Kansas we are so blessed to have a network of State sponsored mental health affiliates that are there to help irregardless of your ability of to pay or not to pay. Many other states have such networks available too. If you’re blessed with a job that provides benefits more then likely you’ve got a Mental Health rider on your insurance plan. Use it! It’s there for you to use! Many doctors today are cross trained to have a basic understanding of mental health issues and your family or primary care physician can be a great place to start.
So there you have it, my quarterly “Jump up on my soapbox” mental health speech. I can only hope and pray that it falls upon the ears and hearts that need to hear this and this will be the start of a great healing for someone. I know this, the Lord wants you to have a good and healthy life, including mental health and so do I!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Things That Make You Angry!!! :-(!
This evening in my English Comp class at college we had to write a brief paper on things that really make us mad. I really got a chuckle when our instructor wrote that topic on the board. The very first thing that I thought of was how much work the Lord has done on my heart in the last year. A year ago I would at times get so angry and mad that I actually would get tunnel vision and my blood pressure would get so high that I’d have chest pains and my eyes would hurt. Getting that angry is not good.
Don’t get me wrong, I still get angry at time. I just don’t get so overbearingly angry like I used too. I’ve had several occasions when I could have really lost it but in general I’ve stayed in control. Looking back, in the last year I’ve only lost my temper really bad one time. The last time I lost my temper I had a right to be angry, I just didn’t have the right to loose my temper like I did. God made sure it was a humiliating enough experience with all of the apologizing that I had to do that I’ll think twice before I do that again!
So what has happened in the past year to enable me to not get so angry? I can see where two major things happened to change my getting angry. I really don’t know that one has any more bearing then the other so I’ll start with the first. In my blog here I’ve talked in great depth about the “Fred Challenge” that I took. For a recap the Fred Challenge is reading a chapter of the Book of Proverbs every day for a year. There are thirty-one chapters in Proverbs and I read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with that day. The Fred Challenge lasts for a year and I’ve got two more months.
Proverbs is one of the Wisdom Books in the Bible along with Job, Psalms, and Ecclesiastes. Pouring God’s wisdom into me about how to live life on a daily basis has done more for me then any Bible study I’ve ever done. Reading over and over about how to control your temper and why people do the things they do has been a life changing adventure for me! When people do things now to try to make me feel angry I many times feel compassion and sympathy on that person being able to see inside them and seeing how miserable they must feel at times.
What else has changed me? I would have to say being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD and then getting my Bipolar under control and starting to get a handle on my ADHD. The fact that I’m not all amped up and on the edge all of the time makes it much easier to handle anger provoking situations when they arise.
And just what does make me angry? I’m not so perfect that I don’t still get mad. Kids talking back will still set me off. I love God and when I hear someone take my Father’s name in vain I just want to reach out and grab them and shout “Do you know what you just did? That’s my Father you’re talking about!” That’s my two biggies!
What’s makes you angry?
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Don’t get me wrong, I still get angry at time. I just don’t get so overbearingly angry like I used too. I’ve had several occasions when I could have really lost it but in general I’ve stayed in control. Looking back, in the last year I’ve only lost my temper really bad one time. The last time I lost my temper I had a right to be angry, I just didn’t have the right to loose my temper like I did. God made sure it was a humiliating enough experience with all of the apologizing that I had to do that I’ll think twice before I do that again!
So what has happened in the past year to enable me to not get so angry? I can see where two major things happened to change my getting angry. I really don’t know that one has any more bearing then the other so I’ll start with the first. In my blog here I’ve talked in great depth about the “Fred Challenge” that I took. For a recap the Fred Challenge is reading a chapter of the Book of Proverbs every day for a year. There are thirty-one chapters in Proverbs and I read the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds with that day. The Fred Challenge lasts for a year and I’ve got two more months.
Proverbs is one of the Wisdom Books in the Bible along with Job, Psalms, and Ecclesiastes. Pouring God’s wisdom into me about how to live life on a daily basis has done more for me then any Bible study I’ve ever done. Reading over and over about how to control your temper and why people do the things they do has been a life changing adventure for me! When people do things now to try to make me feel angry I many times feel compassion and sympathy on that person being able to see inside them and seeing how miserable they must feel at times.
What else has changed me? I would have to say being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD and then getting my Bipolar under control and starting to get a handle on my ADHD. The fact that I’m not all amped up and on the edge all of the time makes it much easier to handle anger provoking situations when they arise.
And just what does make me angry? I’m not so perfect that I don’t still get mad. Kids talking back will still set me off. I love God and when I hear someone take my Father’s name in vain I just want to reach out and grab them and shout “Do you know what you just did? That’s my Father you’re talking about!” That’s my two biggies!
What’s makes you angry?
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Joys of Being Bipolar!
One of the joys of being Bipolar is that along with the down swings you also get some up swings. Some times you just get all happy and giddy for no apparent reason. That’s kind of where I’m at right now. This is the second week in a row that has not been all that great but for some reason I’m still in a good mood tonight.
Tonight I had my computer mechanics class that I’ve been struggling in pretty bad. Tonight we worked with Windows 98 which I actually have some pretty good knowledge with. I took a different approach tonight then I have in the past. I’m in a pretty small class with only about ten people in my class. I’m also fortunate to have an instructor that demands class participation so I jumped in tonight and put my two cents worth in. I figured if I’m jumping in and actively participating that I might actually absorb some of what’s being taught!
I had a talk with our realtor today, Steve, and I told Steve that I was majoring in Real Estate at college. Steve turned me on to a couple of really great jobs in the mortgage business. Steve said he’d be happy to put a good word in for me with two different mortgage brokers. Steve and I have had a good business relationship over the years.
When I was in sales Steve was one of my customers and likewise we bought our home through Steve. Steve and I have always been on the lookout to send each other customers too. Guys like Steve are great to have in your corner! If anyone is looking for a house around Wichita here let me know & I’ll hook you up with a great realtor!
In reading Proverbs 24 tonight verses 23 & 24 jumped out at me. “It is wrong to show favoritism when passing judgment. A judge who says to the wicked, "You are innocent," will be cursed by many people and denounced by the nations. But blessings are showered on those who convict the guilty.” I’ve been talking about baseball lately and believe it or not this is one of the verses that I fall back on when I umpiring. An umpire is basically a judge on a playing field. This is one of the verses why I feel I call such an impartial game. When I’m on that field calling a game I know that I am under the scrutiny of the Lord and the Lord demands that I judge in an impartial manner.
Speaking of baseball would someone please tell the weatherman that we need some winter weather? Sheesh, it’s supposed to be in the low 60’s here tomorrow! Man, I’m ready to play baseball! This weather is driving me nuts!
Oh well, only SEVEN LONG WEEKS to the first pitch! I hope I can make it and not drive my poor wife nuts in the process!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Tonight I had my computer mechanics class that I’ve been struggling in pretty bad. Tonight we worked with Windows 98 which I actually have some pretty good knowledge with. I took a different approach tonight then I have in the past. I’m in a pretty small class with only about ten people in my class. I’m also fortunate to have an instructor that demands class participation so I jumped in tonight and put my two cents worth in. I figured if I’m jumping in and actively participating that I might actually absorb some of what’s being taught!
I had a talk with our realtor today, Steve, and I told Steve that I was majoring in Real Estate at college. Steve turned me on to a couple of really great jobs in the mortgage business. Steve said he’d be happy to put a good word in for me with two different mortgage brokers. Steve and I have had a good business relationship over the years.
When I was in sales Steve was one of my customers and likewise we bought our home through Steve. Steve and I have always been on the lookout to send each other customers too. Guys like Steve are great to have in your corner! If anyone is looking for a house around Wichita here let me know & I’ll hook you up with a great realtor!
In reading Proverbs 24 tonight verses 23 & 24 jumped out at me. “It is wrong to show favoritism when passing judgment. A judge who says to the wicked, "You are innocent," will be cursed by many people and denounced by the nations. But blessings are showered on those who convict the guilty.” I’ve been talking about baseball lately and believe it or not this is one of the verses that I fall back on when I umpiring. An umpire is basically a judge on a playing field. This is one of the verses why I feel I call such an impartial game. When I’m on that field calling a game I know that I am under the scrutiny of the Lord and the Lord demands that I judge in an impartial manner.
Speaking of baseball would someone please tell the weatherman that we need some winter weather? Sheesh, it’s supposed to be in the low 60’s here tomorrow! Man, I’m ready to play baseball! This weather is driving me nuts!
Oh well, only SEVEN LONG WEEKS to the first pitch! I hope I can make it and not drive my poor wife nuts in the process!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Baseball!
I can hardly wait for baseball to start!!!
BTW... I thought that I'd just throw up a couple of different pics in a couple of posts tonight instead of writing a long blog!
And finally...
From Proverbs 22:6 out of the KJV we have "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it."
Be Blessed!
Big Scott
Not Mickey's Mouse!
Now you know what I've felt like the past few days with getting college going and everything else that's been going on!!!
I have to think that I'm making some progress. I've actually managed through all of this to get my Resume' rewrote and I've put it out to some pretty good employers. Pastor Rob thinks that I'd be fantastic doing Real Estate Loans with my financial background. I think he's right. I've started submitting my resume' out to the loan companies. I did have to make one concession though, I'm dropping all of the rest of my weekend classes @ WSU this semester per my wife's wise leading.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Congratualtions Timmy Mac!!!
Let’s start off with some good news! Congratulations to a wonderful Christian brother and one of the most intelligent and creative geeks that I know, Timmy Mac, on his recently announced engagement and pending nuptials! Tim is the most talented web designer that I’ve ever had the pleasure of working with. I’ve also enjoyed viewing many of Tim’s great, professional works!
Tim has just one little flaw that annoys me. Tim sometimes forgets to fill the rest of the world in on his details. Hint, hint here Tim my brother! Would you please fill the rest of the world in on the details of your engagement? Are we going to have some grand unveiling so the whole world knows who the wonderful woman is that you chosen to be your bride? Yea Tim! I’m having fun dissin’ ya on my blog here! Hehe!!! Come on man! Cough up the details!!!
Changing the subject now, what does a married with children kind of guy like me do on a Saturday night when he is in college? Have dinner with the family, have some family time, make a quick run to Wally World with the wifey, then come home & study, study, study!!! What a life! Here it is 12:45 in the morning already and I just got done, at least partially, with studying a chapter in my computer mechanics class. I told the wifey to wake me up at 9:45 in the morning so I’m not late to church. Let’s see, that means I can study until about 1:30 in the morning and still get some good sleep! Ye Haw!!!
I’m in a pretty fun mood tonight. I might as well be, it sure won’t do me any good to be in a bad mood. I’ve got a tooth ache that is killing me tonight and I’m not going to bed anyway until the pain killers kick in. Hopefully the pain killers and my meds will all work together tonight and work at the same time or it might be a long night up without much sleep! I might have to cave in Monday if this keeps up and call the dentist. Ugh!!!
In reading Proverbs 21 today verse 23 really jumped out at me. “If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble.” OK, I’ll shut up now!!!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Tim has just one little flaw that annoys me. Tim sometimes forgets to fill the rest of the world in on his details. Hint, hint here Tim my brother! Would you please fill the rest of the world in on the details of your engagement? Are we going to have some grand unveiling so the whole world knows who the wonderful woman is that you chosen to be your bride? Yea Tim! I’m having fun dissin’ ya on my blog here! Hehe!!! Come on man! Cough up the details!!!
Changing the subject now, what does a married with children kind of guy like me do on a Saturday night when he is in college? Have dinner with the family, have some family time, make a quick run to Wally World with the wifey, then come home & study, study, study!!! What a life! Here it is 12:45 in the morning already and I just got done, at least partially, with studying a chapter in my computer mechanics class. I told the wifey to wake me up at 9:45 in the morning so I’m not late to church. Let’s see, that means I can study until about 1:30 in the morning and still get some good sleep! Ye Haw!!!
I’m in a pretty fun mood tonight. I might as well be, it sure won’t do me any good to be in a bad mood. I’ve got a tooth ache that is killing me tonight and I’m not going to bed anyway until the pain killers kick in. Hopefully the pain killers and my meds will all work together tonight and work at the same time or it might be a long night up without much sleep! I might have to cave in Monday if this keeps up and call the dentist. Ugh!!!
In reading Proverbs 21 today verse 23 really jumped out at me. “If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble.” OK, I’ll shut up now!!!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Saturday, January 21, 2006
The Gray Hair of Experience is the Splendor...
I’m glad this week is just about over in a couple of respects. Trying to get back in the swing of things for college has not been easy. Between my new meds combo and just trying to move my schedule around for college I’ve been battling uphill all week this week. I’ve got to figure out when I can study and do it. I know that there are some things I’ll have to set aside too so I can study.
I’ve been on the go, go, go for the past however many years now, so many years in fact that I’ve lost count. Now all of a sudden just stopping my spinning world for college is not going to be easy. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a pretty restless person. Due in part to my ADHD & my Bipolar disorder I’ve pretty much have always been a pretty wound up person. I used to joke that if I’d slow down I could be labeled a “Type A” personality!
Thanks in no small part to me receiving some really great help with my ADHD and my Bipolar I am a whole lot less restless then I used to be. I was kicking back here at my computer tonight and I started having flashbacks to what my life used to be like and some of the terrible things that I did before I was diagnosed and treated. Remembering back to some of that garbage got me pretty shook up. Like Diana told me the other day “I have forgiven those people in my heart but the forgiving is the easy part because the forgetting stays with a person.”
I try not to focus on the past. In fact I work hard at ignoring my past. The problem is my past is still there and yes, at times my past still haunts me. I’m pretty sure the reason the enemy was able to sneak up and throw my past back at me is due in a large part because I’m struggling to get going in college now.
I just sent off an email for help to our Disability Services Director @ Cowely saying I was in trouble. I know that if I don’t jump in and use some of the services available to me I’ll be in deep trouble at college. One thing that I am doing is following my wife’s advice (mandate) that I drop my weekend seminar classes so I can study on the weekend and still have time to be a husband and a father. That part even more important then college!
On a lighter note, I was reading my Proverbs today and Proverbs 20:29 made me chuckle. “The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.” Looking in the mirror I’d say that by the looks of my goatee & now even some of my hair it’s time to start enjoying my splendor!!!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I’ve been on the go, go, go for the past however many years now, so many years in fact that I’ve lost count. Now all of a sudden just stopping my spinning world for college is not going to be easy. Anyone that knows me knows that I’m a pretty restless person. Due in part to my ADHD & my Bipolar disorder I’ve pretty much have always been a pretty wound up person. I used to joke that if I’d slow down I could be labeled a “Type A” personality!
Thanks in no small part to me receiving some really great help with my ADHD and my Bipolar I am a whole lot less restless then I used to be. I was kicking back here at my computer tonight and I started having flashbacks to what my life used to be like and some of the terrible things that I did before I was diagnosed and treated. Remembering back to some of that garbage got me pretty shook up. Like Diana told me the other day “I have forgiven those people in my heart but the forgiving is the easy part because the forgetting stays with a person.”
I try not to focus on the past. In fact I work hard at ignoring my past. The problem is my past is still there and yes, at times my past still haunts me. I’m pretty sure the reason the enemy was able to sneak up and throw my past back at me is due in a large part because I’m struggling to get going in college now.
I just sent off an email for help to our Disability Services Director @ Cowely saying I was in trouble. I know that if I don’t jump in and use some of the services available to me I’ll be in deep trouble at college. One thing that I am doing is following my wife’s advice (mandate) that I drop my weekend seminar classes so I can study on the weekend and still have time to be a husband and a father. That part even more important then college!
On a lighter note, I was reading my Proverbs today and Proverbs 20:29 made me chuckle. “The glory of the young is their strength; the gray hair of experience is the splendor of the old.” Looking in the mirror I’d say that by the looks of my goatee & now even some of my hair it’s time to start enjoying my splendor!!!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Wake Up Week
Like I said a couple of days ago this sure has been a wake up week for me. I think that I might have a harder time keeping up with the kids in college then what I thought that I would. I need to get in proper study habits. Right now I’m having a hard time studying. I need to lay down the law on myself and study and not let myself get distracted.
One class that I was hoping to cruise in is looking like it’s going to be more of a fight then I thought it would. My computer systems class is going to be tough. I’m finding out real fast how much computers have advanced in the last three years and how much I forgot over those three years. I sure wish I would have kept up on some of my technical knowledge. I fighting to remember some of the code I used to know and take for granted.
One thing I like about this class my instructor Ralph. Ralph is an ex-Navy guy that’s used to leading people. Ralph has a boisterous voice. Ralph knows how to keep your attention. That’s a good combination for someone like me that has ADHD. Ralph likes looking at all of his students in his eyes to see where they’re at. Ralph keeps looking at me and asking “Are you with me?” I pray I can stay with him.
All is not bad though. My English Comp class was a class that I feared since I have not had English since Junior year in High School which was 26 years ago in 1980. I’m a consummate reader and apparently that has honed my English skills over the years. The class that was one of the ones I feared is looking like it just might be one that I actually get to enjoy!
The jury is still out on my College Accounting class. I’ve got I would say a pretty good and caring instructor in this class. I did get a little lost once in a while last night which was our first meeting. With my ADHD I get free tutors and I betting that I’ll use one for my accounting class.
One thing that I need to keep in mind and make sure I take full advantage of when I need it is using tutors and some of the other resources that I have available to me. Those resources are there to help me. It could be that those resources good very well be my lifesaver with my classes. I can now turn the tables and let my ADHD & my Bipolar be a blessing to me for once!
Reading in Today’s Proverbs two separate Proverbs jump out at me. First Proverbs 19:14 reminds me how great of a wife I really do have. “Parents can provide their sons with an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife.” And then Proverbs 19:20 reminds me why I’m back in college. “Get all the advice and instruction you can, and be wise the rest of your life.”
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
One class that I was hoping to cruise in is looking like it’s going to be more of a fight then I thought it would. My computer systems class is going to be tough. I’m finding out real fast how much computers have advanced in the last three years and how much I forgot over those three years. I sure wish I would have kept up on some of my technical knowledge. I fighting to remember some of the code I used to know and take for granted.
One thing I like about this class my instructor Ralph. Ralph is an ex-Navy guy that’s used to leading people. Ralph has a boisterous voice. Ralph knows how to keep your attention. That’s a good combination for someone like me that has ADHD. Ralph likes looking at all of his students in his eyes to see where they’re at. Ralph keeps looking at me and asking “Are you with me?” I pray I can stay with him.
All is not bad though. My English Comp class was a class that I feared since I have not had English since Junior year in High School which was 26 years ago in 1980. I’m a consummate reader and apparently that has honed my English skills over the years. The class that was one of the ones I feared is looking like it just might be one that I actually get to enjoy!
The jury is still out on my College Accounting class. I’ve got I would say a pretty good and caring instructor in this class. I did get a little lost once in a while last night which was our first meeting. With my ADHD I get free tutors and I betting that I’ll use one for my accounting class.
One thing that I need to keep in mind and make sure I take full advantage of when I need it is using tutors and some of the other resources that I have available to me. Those resources are there to help me. It could be that those resources good very well be my lifesaver with my classes. I can now turn the tables and let my ADHD & my Bipolar be a blessing to me for once!
Reading in Today’s Proverbs two separate Proverbs jump out at me. First Proverbs 19:14 reminds me how great of a wife I really do have. “Parents can provide their sons with an inheritance of houses and wealth, but only the LORD can give an understanding wife.” And then Proverbs 19:20 reminds me why I’m back in college. “Get all the advice and instruction you can, and be wise the rest of your life.”
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Do Not Be Afraid!
I got a wake up call this evening! I had my first college class of this semester. The class I had this evening is the second half a computer class that deals with how you make a computer work from the inside out. I took the first half 2 ½ years ago and I got a “B” which I though wasn’t too bad. I’ve tried to keep up with the workings of computers while I was out of college but I found out tonight that there are a few areas that I need to do some studying in!
Tomorrow, Wednesday, I start my college algebra and my accounting classes. I plan on reading the first chapter or two of each book before class so I don’t have that “dear caught in the headlight look!” I have to keep telling myself that I can do this! This semester will be a real test for me. Like I said earlier in my blogs “If I can make it through this semester I can make it the rest of the way!”
I keep hearing in the back of my mind the promise the Lord gave to His people through Moses in Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you.”” That one verse sure says a whole bunch to me. That verse tells me to hold my head up, have a good attitude, don’t let the things of this world get you down or should I say in my case let college get me down. I also see this verse as saying the Lord is going before me and that no matter what the Lord will be there for me and He will never leave me. That is the kind of encouragement that we all need!
In reading Proverbs 17 today two verses jumped out at me. First verse 3 “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” If the Lord is testing me here, I hope and pray that He finds my heart pure. And then finally I got a quick chuckle out of verse 16 “It is senseless to pay tuition to educate a fool who has no heart for wisdom.” When I read that verse I thought “Well Lord, my heart is in this. Please don’t let me be that fool!” I trust He won’t! I know the Lord will see me through this.
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Tomorrow, Wednesday, I start my college algebra and my accounting classes. I plan on reading the first chapter or two of each book before class so I don’t have that “dear caught in the headlight look!” I have to keep telling myself that I can do this! This semester will be a real test for me. Like I said earlier in my blogs “If I can make it through this semester I can make it the rest of the way!”
I keep hearing in the back of my mind the promise the Lord gave to His people through Moses in Deuteronomy 31:8 "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD is the one who goes before you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor forsake you.”” That one verse sure says a whole bunch to me. That verse tells me to hold my head up, have a good attitude, don’t let the things of this world get you down or should I say in my case let college get me down. I also see this verse as saying the Lord is going before me and that no matter what the Lord will be there for me and He will never leave me. That is the kind of encouragement that we all need!
In reading Proverbs 17 today two verses jumped out at me. First verse 3 “Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” If the Lord is testing me here, I hope and pray that He finds my heart pure. And then finally I got a quick chuckle out of verse 16 “It is senseless to pay tuition to educate a fool who has no heart for wisdom.” When I read that verse I thought “Well Lord, my heart is in this. Please don’t let me be that fool!” I trust He won’t! I know the Lord will see me through this.
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Monday, January 16, 2006
Wow!
Wow! I actually had a pretty decent day today for the first time in a long time! I’m really starting to like my new cocktail (meds mixture) my Pdoc has me on now. It’s still a little rough in the mornings but not near as bad as it was. I caught myself doing something today that I haven’t done in a long time. I caught myself remembering details! I’m not sure who was more impressed, me (humbly of course) or my loving & easily amused wife!
I love my wife! It is so nice to have a wife that sticks by your side even when you’re down. It’s also nice having a wife that at least acts like she finds my humor at least somewhat amusing too! I suppose when you have a husband that is both Bipolar and a cutup most of the time you’d better be able to roll with the punches!
Today I started getting back some of my old gusto, some of my old spontaneity, and it felt great! My wife has been saying for the past couple of weeks that she felt like a part of me had died. I knew in my heart that she was right as I could feel it too. Today I was finally able to get back in gear and actually get some work done. As my wife and I were running parts for the job I was doing today I told her “I’m actually doing something today and it feels good!”
OK, enough about me! I was reading my Proverbs today and the very first Proverb of Proverbs 16 just jumped right out at me. “We can gather our thoughts, but the LORD gives the right answer.” Isn’t that the truth! We can try and try to figure something out. We may even believe that we’ve actually found the truth but until we find the Lord’s truth we don’t have the REAL truth! I guess that’s why God gave us an “Owner’s Manuel!”
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
I love my wife! It is so nice to have a wife that sticks by your side even when you’re down. It’s also nice having a wife that at least acts like she finds my humor at least somewhat amusing too! I suppose when you have a husband that is both Bipolar and a cutup most of the time you’d better be able to roll with the punches!
Today I started getting back some of my old gusto, some of my old spontaneity, and it felt great! My wife has been saying for the past couple of weeks that she felt like a part of me had died. I knew in my heart that she was right as I could feel it too. Today I was finally able to get back in gear and actually get some work done. As my wife and I were running parts for the job I was doing today I told her “I’m actually doing something today and it feels good!”
OK, enough about me! I was reading my Proverbs today and the very first Proverb of Proverbs 16 just jumped right out at me. “We can gather our thoughts, but the LORD gives the right answer.” Isn’t that the truth! We can try and try to figure something out. We may even believe that we’ve actually found the truth but until we find the Lord’s truth we don’t have the REAL truth! I guess that’s why God gave us an “Owner’s Manuel!”
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Here We Go Again!!!
Here we go! I’ve taken a couple of days off from blogging as I’ve been trying to get a balance in my life with my new meds and such. Add to that I really didn’t have anything intelligent to say and I figured I could use the break! I know, I know, it was hard not having my wit and insight pouring into your life for those all to long days, but never fear, I am here! That was pretty good, I mixed satire & poetry together in that last sentence. See, I’ve still got it! He he he!!!
Anyway, I’m starting to do a whole bunch better in the mornings since my Pdoc (psychiatrist) took me off of the ADHD meds she had me on and put me on something a whole bunch nicer and more agreeable with my system and especially my brain! I tell you what now, some of those morning hangovers stunk! I was really getting tired of waking up with my eyeballs feeling like they were going to explode and migraines out of this world! Added to that some days I would walk around most of the day with my head and my brain in a funk!
The new meds combo actually has a stimulant in it to give my brain a kick in the morning to help it hit on all cylinders. The goal here is to get rid of the “blondeness” that I would get sometimes when I would get hypo-manic. I used to get all wound up and I would “totally go spacey” sometimes. Others would find it quite humorous at times but it made it hard for me to get any work done when my wife had to peel me off the walls and ceilings so to say! Hey! Now I can get wound up (hopefully) and still have all of my faculties! When that happens the world had better beware! I might just try to conquer it!
I don’t know why but I feel like the Lord has been putting on my heart to learn more about Israel and its people. I don’t have a clue why, but I do find it interesting following day to day what is going on in the Middle East. Here’s a little known fact about Israel. Israel has a higher abortion rate then the United States if you can believe that! I ran across a group called “Efrat” that is working to change that. Efrat has an awesome ministry to the women that are in a crisis pregnancy in Israel. Check them out at: http://www.friendsofefrat.org/. Efrat has an amazing video on it’s website that’s a little over ten minutes long. It is worth every minute you take out of your busy day to watch it!
Just a quick reminder… Billy Graham will be on TV with the New York Crusade Tuesday Night @ 7:00 p.m. on most ABC Stations (Channel 10 here in Wichita). Check out BillyGraham.org to find out more!
School starts Tuesday! I can hardly wait! I’ve got a full course load this semester. This will be the hardest semester that I’ve ever had. When I get through this semester I should have cleared the hardest part of my college life which will mean clear sailing pretty much the rest of the way! Get out of my way people! Here comes the zaniest 43 year old sophomore you’ve ever seen!
Have a Great Week!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Anyway, I’m starting to do a whole bunch better in the mornings since my Pdoc (psychiatrist) took me off of the ADHD meds she had me on and put me on something a whole bunch nicer and more agreeable with my system and especially my brain! I tell you what now, some of those morning hangovers stunk! I was really getting tired of waking up with my eyeballs feeling like they were going to explode and migraines out of this world! Added to that some days I would walk around most of the day with my head and my brain in a funk!
The new meds combo actually has a stimulant in it to give my brain a kick in the morning to help it hit on all cylinders. The goal here is to get rid of the “blondeness” that I would get sometimes when I would get hypo-manic. I used to get all wound up and I would “totally go spacey” sometimes. Others would find it quite humorous at times but it made it hard for me to get any work done when my wife had to peel me off the walls and ceilings so to say! Hey! Now I can get wound up (hopefully) and still have all of my faculties! When that happens the world had better beware! I might just try to conquer it!
I don’t know why but I feel like the Lord has been putting on my heart to learn more about Israel and its people. I don’t have a clue why, but I do find it interesting following day to day what is going on in the Middle East. Here’s a little known fact about Israel. Israel has a higher abortion rate then the United States if you can believe that! I ran across a group called “Efrat” that is working to change that. Efrat has an awesome ministry to the women that are in a crisis pregnancy in Israel. Check them out at: http://www.friendsofefrat.org/. Efrat has an amazing video on it’s website that’s a little over ten minutes long. It is worth every minute you take out of your busy day to watch it!
Just a quick reminder… Billy Graham will be on TV with the New York Crusade Tuesday Night @ 7:00 p.m. on most ABC Stations (Channel 10 here in Wichita). Check out BillyGraham.org to find out more!
School starts Tuesday! I can hardly wait! I’ve got a full course load this semester. This will be the hardest semester that I’ve ever had. When I get through this semester I should have cleared the hardest part of my college life which will mean clear sailing pretty much the rest of the way! Get out of my way people! Here comes the zaniest 43 year old sophomore you’ve ever seen!
Have a Great Week!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Friday, January 13, 2006
Ever Have One Of Those Days...
You ever have one of those days where you feel that why did you even bother to get out of bed? One of those days where when you got to the end of the day and you total up everything productive that you got done that day and it totals up to a big, fat ZERO?! Yea, I had one of those days today. I woke up this morning & if I even tried to move my head shooting pain just shot through my head. I laid in bed a couple of extra hours and waited for the pain to go away.
Well, the problem is then that I pushed everything back a couple of hours in my day which meant my schedule was thrown completely out the window. Every time I tried to go do something I was already so far behind that nothing gelled. Finally, about three in the afternoon I gave up today. I threw in the towel. I knew this day was sunk & I blew it!
I’m sure glad that we serve a God that gives us a second chance. After totally blowing today I need that second chance for tomorrow! Tomorrow has to go better. I know tomorrow won’t be as bad as today. I just don’t think God will allow two days like today to fall on me right in a row.
I did just think of one thing that I did right today though. I gave today to God so he can give me a better tomorrow! It is for that hope in Jesus that I have that I will get out of bed in the morning. I’m going to get up, hold my head up (with the help of caffeine if need be), and start tomorrow in a much better attitude then I had today. At least that’s my prayer I’m praying, so I can get up and do just that!
I do have one thing to look forward to for tomorrow. I was able to get an emergency with my Pdoc (psychiatrist) tomorrow @ 10:00 a.m. It is by the grace of God that I was able to get in with her tomorrow! I’m still having some bad problems with my cocktail (mix of meds). I sure hope tomorrow that my Pdoc will make some changes so I can get rid of this nasty meds hangover that I’ve had for the past three months!
The last three months have been pretty bad for me meds wise. I’ve had a heck of a time getting up and getting going in the mornings. It takes me forever to get up and get going. And then the problem is by the time I really get wound up and going the day is already over. Next, add to that by the times my meds are wearing off in the evening I wound up pretty good at night and I have a heck of a time then getting back to bed and getting to sleep! Like my wife says, something has to change! I’ve got a great Pdoc, I know she’ll make so good changes tomorrow!
I reading Proverbs Chapter 12 today, verse 24 really jumped out at me. “Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.” I so much want to get back to work and school. I know that the Lord is calling me to be a leader for his people. I know the Lord is calling me to preach the Good News. I’m looking forward to getting a balanced life with my Bipolar, meds, therapy, home & marital life, and school so that I can press on like the Word says in Philippians 3:13-14. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Today’s final Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The "NIV" and "New International Version" trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.
Well, the problem is then that I pushed everything back a couple of hours in my day which meant my schedule was thrown completely out the window. Every time I tried to go do something I was already so far behind that nothing gelled. Finally, about three in the afternoon I gave up today. I threw in the towel. I knew this day was sunk & I blew it!
I’m sure glad that we serve a God that gives us a second chance. After totally blowing today I need that second chance for tomorrow! Tomorrow has to go better. I know tomorrow won’t be as bad as today. I just don’t think God will allow two days like today to fall on me right in a row.
I did just think of one thing that I did right today though. I gave today to God so he can give me a better tomorrow! It is for that hope in Jesus that I have that I will get out of bed in the morning. I’m going to get up, hold my head up (with the help of caffeine if need be), and start tomorrow in a much better attitude then I had today. At least that’s my prayer I’m praying, so I can get up and do just that!
I do have one thing to look forward to for tomorrow. I was able to get an emergency with my Pdoc (psychiatrist) tomorrow @ 10:00 a.m. It is by the grace of God that I was able to get in with her tomorrow! I’m still having some bad problems with my cocktail (mix of meds). I sure hope tomorrow that my Pdoc will make some changes so I can get rid of this nasty meds hangover that I’ve had for the past three months!
The last three months have been pretty bad for me meds wise. I’ve had a heck of a time getting up and getting going in the mornings. It takes me forever to get up and get going. And then the problem is by the time I really get wound up and going the day is already over. Next, add to that by the times my meds are wearing off in the evening I wound up pretty good at night and I have a heck of a time then getting back to bed and getting to sleep! Like my wife says, something has to change! I’ve got a great Pdoc, I know she’ll make so good changes tomorrow!
I reading Proverbs Chapter 12 today, verse 24 really jumped out at me. “Work hard and become a leader; be lazy and become a slave.” I so much want to get back to work and school. I know that the Lord is calling me to be a leader for his people. I know the Lord is calling me to preach the Good News. I’m looking forward to getting a balanced life with my Bipolar, meds, therapy, home & marital life, and school so that I can press on like the Word says in Philippians 3:13-14. “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Today’s final Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.
The "NIV" and "New International Version" trademarks are registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by International Bible Society. Use of either trademark requires the permission of International Bible Society.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Three Things
I was talking with my Pastor at church this evening and he asked me to give him the three major, positive accomplishments in my life from last year. I thought about this for a bit and while I was thinking my Pastor wrote down three things that he saw in me as the major, positive accomplishments from last year too. After he finished writing I said number one would definitely have to be my being diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and finally get a hold on that one thing that has tormented me all of these years.
I continued on and said that number two would have to be the revitalization of our marriage. My wife and I are closer now then we’ve ever been. For the first time in our marriage we are actually starting to enjoy each other. It sure is nice seeing the gleam in my wife’s eye when we look each other in the eye!
The third thing is probably the most important thing and that is the renewed relationship and the new fire I have for Jesus! I know this is in no small part due to finally having stability in both my mental health and in our marriage. It sure is nice to be able to start sharing again not only about Jesus but to have that close, personal relationship with Jesus. I now know that it was Jesus that carried me through the past thirty years or so of my life and now I can enjoy giving something back to Him!
Now here’s the interesting part. After I had said this my Pastor took his list and read them off and he had the same basic three things that I did. In a way my pastor having the same basic list gave me some confirmation that I am heading in the right direction with my life. The one thing that my Pastor added about the third item was that we were now grounded in a Christ centered church. It’s nice to know that your spiritual leader is really that in tune to you.
Air1 verse of the day is Romans 5:8. “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Oh how true that is! Thank You Jesus!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I continued on and said that number two would have to be the revitalization of our marriage. My wife and I are closer now then we’ve ever been. For the first time in our marriage we are actually starting to enjoy each other. It sure is nice seeing the gleam in my wife’s eye when we look each other in the eye!
The third thing is probably the most important thing and that is the renewed relationship and the new fire I have for Jesus! I know this is in no small part due to finally having stability in both my mental health and in our marriage. It sure is nice to be able to start sharing again not only about Jesus but to have that close, personal relationship with Jesus. I now know that it was Jesus that carried me through the past thirty years or so of my life and now I can enjoy giving something back to Him!
Now here’s the interesting part. After I had said this my Pastor took his list and read them off and he had the same basic three things that I did. In a way my pastor having the same basic list gave me some confirmation that I am heading in the right direction with my life. The one thing that my Pastor added about the third item was that we were now grounded in a Christ centered church. It’s nice to know that your spiritual leader is really that in tune to you.
Air1 verse of the day is Romans 5:8. “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Oh how true that is! Thank You Jesus!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
My Testimony
OK, I’ll try to keep this a little bit shorter then yesterday’s marathon blog! For the last couple of days I’ve been hitting pretty hard on what I see happening with end time prophecy and such. This time I’m just going to focus on what God has done for me.
I’ve been chatting online with others in the Bipolar community & I just had one person ask me about my “Rock.” Here is what I wrote to her.
I found throughout the years of fighting this demon that I've been fighting for the past 25 years or so before I was diagnosed earlier this year that if I didn't have something solid in my life, one thing that was always constant that I could always count on I would be sunk. I needed something or better yet someone that was always there for me. I needed someone that always loved me no matter how bad I blew it.
I would definitely have some incredibly idiotic moments that just defied reasoning. I can’t count the number of really great jobs that I’ve lost do to either manic mood swings when I would do something really stupid or I’d have a depression crash where I really didn’t give a darn and just not show up for work or whatever. In 1988 I found that rock. Or should I say that the Rock found me!
In October 1988 one Sunday afternoon after the last race of the year I stopped by a buddy of mines home to see what he was up to. He told me he was going to church and told me to come along with him. For some silly reason I did. That night I started to see the real Rock. One week later I found the real Rock. I Found Jesus!
Granted it would be almost another seventeen years before I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD. How I would have made it through those seventeen years without having the Lord in my life, protecting me, guiding me when I would let him, and most of all having someone I could come running back to when my world collapsed is more then I care to even think about.
Seeing everything that I’ve been through over the past 25 years I know it’s only because of Jesus that I’m still here! Now because He was there for me I now am here for him. This is the main reason I do my blog and chat with others online is to offer the hope that I now have to others. I truly believe the absolute best thing that could ever happen to someone is to have a personal relationship with Jesus! For those that have a mental or some other kind of disorder this is doubly true!
That’s a brief synopsis of my testimony. I hope you got something out of it!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I’ve been chatting online with others in the Bipolar community & I just had one person ask me about my “Rock.” Here is what I wrote to her.
I found throughout the years of fighting this demon that I've been fighting for the past 25 years or so before I was diagnosed earlier this year that if I didn't have something solid in my life, one thing that was always constant that I could always count on I would be sunk. I needed something or better yet someone that was always there for me. I needed someone that always loved me no matter how bad I blew it.
I would definitely have some incredibly idiotic moments that just defied reasoning. I can’t count the number of really great jobs that I’ve lost do to either manic mood swings when I would do something really stupid or I’d have a depression crash where I really didn’t give a darn and just not show up for work or whatever. In 1988 I found that rock. Or should I say that the Rock found me!
In October 1988 one Sunday afternoon after the last race of the year I stopped by a buddy of mines home to see what he was up to. He told me he was going to church and told me to come along with him. For some silly reason I did. That night I started to see the real Rock. One week later I found the real Rock. I Found Jesus!
Granted it would be almost another seventeen years before I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD. How I would have made it through those seventeen years without having the Lord in my life, protecting me, guiding me when I would let him, and most of all having someone I could come running back to when my world collapsed is more then I care to even think about.
Seeing everything that I’ve been through over the past 25 years I know it’s only because of Jesus that I’m still here! Now because He was there for me I now am here for him. This is the main reason I do my blog and chat with others online is to offer the hope that I now have to others. I truly believe the absolute best thing that could ever happen to someone is to have a personal relationship with Jesus! For those that have a mental or some other kind of disorder this is doubly true!
That’s a brief synopsis of my testimony. I hope you got something out of it!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Monday, January 09, 2006
Jesus & The End
I’m going to share something in this blog that if it don’t get you just a little bit unnerved I will say that we, you, The Lord, and myself need to have a serious talk. I’m not sure why I feel led to share so much about the coming of the end but it’s burning in my heart and I’m going to share it. I don’t know, maybe the Lord is trying to wake some people up or maybe he has another purpose in mind. What ever the case I’m just going to share what I see, feel, & hear from the Lord.
In Matthew 24:4-14 Jesus is sharing with his disciples about His second return and the ends of time. I’m going to break it down verse by verse and give my insight into what I see happening.
4Jesus told them, "Don't let anyone mislead you. 5For many will come in my name, saying, `I am the Messiah.' They will lead many astray. How many different religions do we have in our world today? I would hate to even try to count. In fact I don’t think you could count because there are new, false religions springing forth faster then you can count them. There are so many different religions today that New Age is even now becoming Old Age!
6And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately. 7The nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other. In the last ten plus years there has constantly been at least two to three wars minimum happening somewhere around the globe. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not the only wars that have been taking place. The African continent has been embroiled in wars no for 15 plus years alone. Add in the other skirmishes that have flared up from time to time and you see where wars are breaking out both near and far.
And there will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8But all this will be only the beginning of the horrors to come. Uh-oh. This is happening too. The United States and other major countries have stepped up their earthquake and tsunami warning systems. Major earthquakes have been happening with such regularity around the world that these earthquakes are barely getting front page news anymore. 10,000 die in India from an earthquake and it might not even make the front page of our news. Parts of Africa have been in such a desperate state of famine for so long that the relief agencies have a hard time raising funds anymore for famine relief.
9"Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because of your allegiance to me. In the past 100 years more people have died because of their faith in Jesus than in all of the previous years of recorded history. It is not slowing down now. For example in China Christianity is catching fire but if you are caught propagating Christianity it could still cost you your life. In many Islamic countries it is a crime punishable by death to be a Christian! Islam teaches that if you are a Christian you are an “infidel” & you deserve death.
10And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. Religions that break away from Christianity and teach that Jesus is not “necessarily” who He says He is are proliferating. The teachings of these breakaways can get so skewed that if you try to witness to them or stand up for Jesus you will bring forth their rage and ire.
11And many false prophets will appear and will lead many people astray. Like I said these breakaway religions are being led by many charismatic and enchanting leaders. Just for example look at Tom Cruise. Humanistic teachings have drawn him in and now this bright and colorful Hollywood icon is now seeking to draw others in.
12Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. One doesn’t have to look very far to find this. Right here in the good, old USA we are the number purveyor of pornographic and homosexual in the whole world! The United States produces more pornographic and homosexual goods and material then the rest of the world put together. And then we wonder why other countries hate us. When your entertainment industry’s number one product is sex it’s easy to see why the love of many is growing cold!
13But those who endure to the end will be saved. Praise God we get some good news here! That is why I write my blog. I want others to endure, to persevere, so we can all some day soon be with the Lord in Heaven.
14And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then, finally, the end will come. Uh-oh, again! Is the Good News being preached to all corners of the Earth? What are you reading this on? A computer via the internet. This that I am writing and posting is available to every nation on every continent throughout the world. Yes, the good news of Jesus is now reaching every corner of the world. A sobering thought!
How close is the end? I don’t know. I’m just going to do what a wise Biblical professor told me to do about fifteen years ago. He said “You don’t know when Jesus will return. Just do what Jesus tells you to do so when that time comes you can answer Jesus when he asks you what you were doing when the trumpet sounded. You can say “Jesus I was doing your will.””
I hope you will be doing the same.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
In Matthew 24:4-14 Jesus is sharing with his disciples about His second return and the ends of time. I’m going to break it down verse by verse and give my insight into what I see happening.
4Jesus told them, "Don't let anyone mislead you. 5For many will come in my name, saying, `I am the Messiah.' They will lead many astray. How many different religions do we have in our world today? I would hate to even try to count. In fact I don’t think you could count because there are new, false religions springing forth faster then you can count them. There are so many different religions today that New Age is even now becoming Old Age!
6And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately. 7The nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other. In the last ten plus years there has constantly been at least two to three wars minimum happening somewhere around the globe. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not the only wars that have been taking place. The African continent has been embroiled in wars no for 15 plus years alone. Add in the other skirmishes that have flared up from time to time and you see where wars are breaking out both near and far.
And there will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8But all this will be only the beginning of the horrors to come. Uh-oh. This is happening too. The United States and other major countries have stepped up their earthquake and tsunami warning systems. Major earthquakes have been happening with such regularity around the world that these earthquakes are barely getting front page news anymore. 10,000 die in India from an earthquake and it might not even make the front page of our news. Parts of Africa have been in such a desperate state of famine for so long that the relief agencies have a hard time raising funds anymore for famine relief.
9"Then you will be arrested, persecuted, and killed. You will be hated all over the world because of your allegiance to me. In the past 100 years more people have died because of their faith in Jesus than in all of the previous years of recorded history. It is not slowing down now. For example in China Christianity is catching fire but if you are caught propagating Christianity it could still cost you your life. In many Islamic countries it is a crime punishable by death to be a Christian! Islam teaches that if you are a Christian you are an “infidel” & you deserve death.
10And many will turn away from me and betray and hate each other. Religions that break away from Christianity and teach that Jesus is not “necessarily” who He says He is are proliferating. The teachings of these breakaways can get so skewed that if you try to witness to them or stand up for Jesus you will bring forth their rage and ire.
11And many false prophets will appear and will lead many people astray. Like I said these breakaway religions are being led by many charismatic and enchanting leaders. Just for example look at Tom Cruise. Humanistic teachings have drawn him in and now this bright and colorful Hollywood icon is now seeking to draw others in.
12Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold. One doesn’t have to look very far to find this. Right here in the good, old USA we are the number purveyor of pornographic and homosexual in the whole world! The United States produces more pornographic and homosexual goods and material then the rest of the world put together. And then we wonder why other countries hate us. When your entertainment industry’s number one product is sex it’s easy to see why the love of many is growing cold!
13But those who endure to the end will be saved. Praise God we get some good news here! That is why I write my blog. I want others to endure, to persevere, so we can all some day soon be with the Lord in Heaven.
14And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then, finally, the end will come. Uh-oh, again! Is the Good News being preached to all corners of the Earth? What are you reading this on? A computer via the internet. This that I am writing and posting is available to every nation on every continent throughout the world. Yes, the good news of Jesus is now reaching every corner of the world. A sobering thought!
How close is the end? I don’t know. I’m just going to do what a wise Biblical professor told me to do about fifteen years ago. He said “You don’t know when Jesus will return. Just do what Jesus tells you to do so when that time comes you can answer Jesus when he asks you what you were doing when the trumpet sounded. You can say “Jesus I was doing your will.””
I hope you will be doing the same.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Sunday, January 08, 2006
So Much Is Going On
I am really confused about what I need to write about. So much is going on I’m not sure where to start. It’s been a pretty good day but yet my heart is a bit heavy too. We spent a good part of the day together as a family and we had a blast tonight watching “Home Improvement” which was filmed here just outside of Wichita. That made Wichita look pretty good! But I’m a little troubled by what’s happening in the world.
I’ve been following what’s been happening in Israel pretty close with Prime Minister Sharon & such. I’ve also had some emails coming across my computer on this too. Pat Robertson of CBN made the comment that Sharon’s brain hemorrhage could have been the result of God dealing with him for dividing up Israel and giving the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians. I can’t help but agree with Pat. Israel is God’s chosen people and God’s chosen land. To give away part of what God said belongs to his people is pretty arrogant and in fact incredulous to me.
The Old Testament is filled with God bringing wrath and destruction on whomever sought to divide and or conquer God’s people or God’s land. When Sharon gave the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians I was a little confused. I was even more confused when Sharon wanted to give “Non Strategic” lands away all in the name of buying peace. Then all of a sudden Sharon had the massive stroke and things started becoming clearer again. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t wish for the demise of Sharon, I just felt Sharon was going against God’s edicts and that God is not going to allow it.
It’s amazing how fast events are occurring now around the world that are all moving us closer and closer to the return of our Lord. Biblical prophecy is now coming to the forefront in our culture and our everyday lives. Why is this? Simple, even Hollywood knows that something is up and they know God is in the middle of it. When things happen and move to that level we better start taking a hard look at our instruction book, the Bible, because God is moving. I can’t make it any more plain than that.
My Aunt Katie just turned 90 a while back and Aunt Katie believes she will never die. Aunt Katie believes that the Lord will return before the grave can take her. Am I going to argue with Aunt Katie about whether she is right or wrong? Not a chance! I’m too afraid she might be right!
I talked with my Mom last night and she encouraged me to look to the future, not the past. I didn’t argue with her either, Mom’s right! I going to move forward and do just as I feel the Lord is leading me. I’m striving to be the best husband and father that I can be, I’m going back to college, and I’m going to keep telling the world the good news of Jesus Christ! Actually telling the world about Jesus Christ is my first call, I do that and everything else will fall into place!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
I’ve been following what’s been happening in Israel pretty close with Prime Minister Sharon & such. I’ve also had some emails coming across my computer on this too. Pat Robertson of CBN made the comment that Sharon’s brain hemorrhage could have been the result of God dealing with him for dividing up Israel and giving the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians. I can’t help but agree with Pat. Israel is God’s chosen people and God’s chosen land. To give away part of what God said belongs to his people is pretty arrogant and in fact incredulous to me.
The Old Testament is filled with God bringing wrath and destruction on whomever sought to divide and or conquer God’s people or God’s land. When Sharon gave the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians I was a little confused. I was even more confused when Sharon wanted to give “Non Strategic” lands away all in the name of buying peace. Then all of a sudden Sharon had the massive stroke and things started becoming clearer again. Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t wish for the demise of Sharon, I just felt Sharon was going against God’s edicts and that God is not going to allow it.
It’s amazing how fast events are occurring now around the world that are all moving us closer and closer to the return of our Lord. Biblical prophecy is now coming to the forefront in our culture and our everyday lives. Why is this? Simple, even Hollywood knows that something is up and they know God is in the middle of it. When things happen and move to that level we better start taking a hard look at our instruction book, the Bible, because God is moving. I can’t make it any more plain than that.
My Aunt Katie just turned 90 a while back and Aunt Katie believes she will never die. Aunt Katie believes that the Lord will return before the grave can take her. Am I going to argue with Aunt Katie about whether she is right or wrong? Not a chance! I’m too afraid she might be right!
I talked with my Mom last night and she encouraged me to look to the future, not the past. I didn’t argue with her either, Mom’s right! I going to move forward and do just as I feel the Lord is leading me. I’m striving to be the best husband and father that I can be, I’m going back to college, and I’m going to keep telling the world the good news of Jesus Christ! Actually telling the world about Jesus Christ is my first call, I do that and everything else will fall into place!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Wisdom
I just did an interesting search. I wanted to see how many times the word “Wisdom” was listed in the book of Proverbs. In the New Living Translation “Wisdom” is found 49 times in Proverbs. Wisdom is also found another 52 times in the New Testament. Proverbs 3 could be called the “Wisdom Chapter” in Proverbs as it is the one where the word Wisdom is found six times.
I really take Proverbs 3 to heart. In verses 5-18 we find a directive based on wisdom.
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
7Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn your back on evil. 8Then you will gain renewed health and vitality.
9Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces. 10Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with the finest wine.
11My child, don't ignore it when the LORD disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. 12For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
13Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding. 14For the profit of wisdom is better than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16She offers you life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. 17She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. 18Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
This is something that I have to go back to and re-read over and over again. This is something that I want written on my heart. This is how I want to live my life. Thanks to the Fred Challenge that I’ve been taking for the last nine months or so, the Lord has impressed on my heart the word Wisdom over and over again.
With having the Lord impressing the word Wisdom on my heart so much I take it as the Lord giving me direction and confirmation to return to college and to seek my degree. I know that I will gain great knowledge, understanding, and most importantly, wisdom in college. Almost without exception when I do my nightly readings in the book of Proverbs the word Wisdom jumps off the pages and hits me in my heart.
One thing about wisdom that I do know is that for way too many years I’ve tried and tried to make it on my own without the wisdom to lead me and make me successful. That I know will change now. Now I seek to move in God’s time and to stop and allow myself to be filled with wisdom. Going right back to the above Scripture with Proverbs 3:13 “Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding.”
Maybe now for once in my life I can have that true happiness that I know the Lord has been trying so hard to give me all of these years!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I really take Proverbs 3 to heart. In verses 5-18 we find a directive based on wisdom.
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
7Don't be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn your back on evil. 8Then you will gain renewed health and vitality.
9Honor the LORD with your wealth and with the best part of everything your land produces. 10Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with the finest wine.
11My child, don't ignore it when the LORD disciplines you, and don't be discouraged when he corrects you. 12For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
13Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding. 14For the profit of wisdom is better than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16She offers you life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. 17She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. 18Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
This is something that I have to go back to and re-read over and over again. This is something that I want written on my heart. This is how I want to live my life. Thanks to the Fred Challenge that I’ve been taking for the last nine months or so, the Lord has impressed on my heart the word Wisdom over and over again.
With having the Lord impressing the word Wisdom on my heart so much I take it as the Lord giving me direction and confirmation to return to college and to seek my degree. I know that I will gain great knowledge, understanding, and most importantly, wisdom in college. Almost without exception when I do my nightly readings in the book of Proverbs the word Wisdom jumps off the pages and hits me in my heart.
One thing about wisdom that I do know is that for way too many years I’ve tried and tried to make it on my own without the wisdom to lead me and make me successful. That I know will change now. Now I seek to move in God’s time and to stop and allow myself to be filled with wisdom. Going right back to the above Scripture with Proverbs 3:13 “Happy is the person who finds wisdom and gains understanding.”
Maybe now for once in my life I can have that true happiness that I know the Lord has been trying so hard to give me all of these years!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Friday, January 06, 2006
If a man alone in the woods speaks...
I’m not big on passing things on that I get in emails but every once in a while I get a good one. I thought I’d start out this blog on a lighter note! Here it goes…
"If a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?”
Hey guys, do you ever feel that way? I know I do from time to time. Just for the record I do have a wonderful wife that loves me and forgives me. And it’s a good thing too! As silly as I get sometimes if my wife really didn’t love me and forgive me I’d be in a big heap of trouble! I love you honey!
I finally had a pretty decent day today. I FINALLY got all of my courses for both Cowley College & Wichita State finalized, I think! One of these days I’m going to find something simple to do that don’t take much time like remodeling our house!
Air1’s verse of the day today is Isaiah 55:6 “Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.” I know I’m going to take that verse to heart! I know that right now the Lord is near and my walk with the Lord is growing every day. I have no choice now but to seek the Lord. The Lord is my only hope of making it in this life!
I hope things are going well for you!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
"If a man alone in the woods speaks, and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?”
Hey guys, do you ever feel that way? I know I do from time to time. Just for the record I do have a wonderful wife that loves me and forgives me. And it’s a good thing too! As silly as I get sometimes if my wife really didn’t love me and forgive me I’d be in a big heap of trouble! I love you honey!
I finally had a pretty decent day today. I FINALLY got all of my courses for both Cowley College & Wichita State finalized, I think! One of these days I’m going to find something simple to do that don’t take much time like remodeling our house!
Air1’s verse of the day today is Isaiah 55:6 “Seek the Lord while you can find him. Call on him now while he is near.” I know I’m going to take that verse to heart! I know that right now the Lord is near and my walk with the Lord is growing every day. I have no choice now but to seek the Lord. The Lord is my only hope of making it in this life!
I hope things are going well for you!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
I did it! I did it! I did it!
I did it! I did it! I did it! I am now “officially” enrolled with my class schedules set at Wichita State! I didn’t get much done today but at least I now know that I’m headed to Wichita State in addition to finishing up my basic courses at Cowley College! That was a big relief! My classes start this coming Monday, January 8th. I can hardly wait!
I was reading in Proverbs Chapter 4 today and the last three verses, verses 25-27 really jumped out at me.
Proverbs 4:25-27 (New Living Translation)
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.
This is one area that the Lord has really been working with me. Having ADHD I have over the years become so accustomed to loosing my focus, wandering to and fro, and just not concentrating on the task at hand until I complete it. The Lord has opened the doors for me to return to college and to finish my degree. I have never had the opportunities for success in my life like I have right now.
All I have to do is just exactly what I am told to do in the above verses. That shouldn’t be to hard should it? If I had to do it on my own it would be impossible. The fact that I have the Holy Spirit living in me and the addition of God putting some incredible people in my life I now know that for the first time it is doable!
Where is God leading you? Which path does the Lord want you to take? Do you have anyone to travel that path with you? The one thing we all have in common is that we all have the instruction manual for life, the Bible, God’s whole and perfect Word available to us any time we need to know God’s direction in our lives.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I was reading in Proverbs Chapter 4 today and the last three verses, verses 25-27 really jumped out at me.
Proverbs 4:25-27 (New Living Translation)
Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
Mark out a straight path for your feet; then stick to the path and stay safe. Don't get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.
This is one area that the Lord has really been working with me. Having ADHD I have over the years become so accustomed to loosing my focus, wandering to and fro, and just not concentrating on the task at hand until I complete it. The Lord has opened the doors for me to return to college and to finish my degree. I have never had the opportunities for success in my life like I have right now.
All I have to do is just exactly what I am told to do in the above verses. That shouldn’t be to hard should it? If I had to do it on my own it would be impossible. The fact that I have the Holy Spirit living in me and the addition of God putting some incredible people in my life I now know that for the first time it is doable!
Where is God leading you? Which path does the Lord want you to take? Do you have anyone to travel that path with you? The one thing we all have in common is that we all have the instruction manual for life, the Bible, God’s whole and perfect Word available to us any time we need to know God’s direction in our lives.
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Just Ramblin On...
I’m sure glad that the Lord has been giving me something to write in my blogs the last few days because every time I’ve started out the last few days I’ve been blank. Here we go again. As usual I’m blank. Oh well, I guess I’ll write about what happened today and see what happens. I hope I won’t ramble on too bad.
I think I ate too many jalapenos this evening. My wife & I stopped to get a little snack at Taco Bueno. I had a B.O.B. (Big Ol Burrito). My wife just sat there in amazement as with every bite I put a jalapeno slice on before I took a bite. I ate a whole heaping condiment cup full of jalapenos with that burrito! I guess this would be a good place to praise God as I did receive a healing a couple of years ago of my hiatil hernia. Up till a couple of years ago if I would have done what I did tonight I would have had acid reflux so bad I would not have been able to lay down! Thanks You Jesus! Now I can enjoy my jalapenos again!!!
Hey! I’m “officially” a Shocker now! I finally got my admission completed and accepted to Wichita State! I still can’t enroll in classes though because I haven’t been accepted into the business program. I found out that I need to go see a business department head tomorrow and get their signature saying they think I’ll be a success and that yes I should be allowed to enroll in classes. If I have to jump through any more hoops I’m going to join the circus!
I can’t wait to go see my psychiatrist again! These meds hangovers in the mornings stink! I haven’t been drunk since 1988 when I got saved but I’m remembering what some of those mornings are like! Like I’ve said before, I’ve got a fantastic psychiatrist and I know that she will make the changes that I need so I won’t have these med hangovers anymore!
Praise God again! I found out today that I’m getting some more scholarships! The way my scholarships and grants have been coming I can’t afford not to go to college! At last count I’m getting four small scholarships and one big, fat grant! Thank You Jesus!
Only 10 short weeks until baseball starts again! I’ve been searching Ebay for a few things I need gear wise & I’m already getting geared up and ready to go! I can hardly wait until I get to step up behind and say “PLAY BALL!” Oh Yea! I get goose bumps just typing that out! I still haven’t found anything that matches the rush of standing behind a catcher and watching a 90 mile per hour coming straight at your face!
And finally…
I love the “Air1 Verse of the Day” today. Matthew 6:34 Jesus says “So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.” I know that is so true! The way I was running to and fro today I had all I wanted! It was all I could do today to just keep up with today!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
I think I ate too many jalapenos this evening. My wife & I stopped to get a little snack at Taco Bueno. I had a B.O.B. (Big Ol Burrito). My wife just sat there in amazement as with every bite I put a jalapeno slice on before I took a bite. I ate a whole heaping condiment cup full of jalapenos with that burrito! I guess this would be a good place to praise God as I did receive a healing a couple of years ago of my hiatil hernia. Up till a couple of years ago if I would have done what I did tonight I would have had acid reflux so bad I would not have been able to lay down! Thanks You Jesus! Now I can enjoy my jalapenos again!!!
Hey! I’m “officially” a Shocker now! I finally got my admission completed and accepted to Wichita State! I still can’t enroll in classes though because I haven’t been accepted into the business program. I found out that I need to go see a business department head tomorrow and get their signature saying they think I’ll be a success and that yes I should be allowed to enroll in classes. If I have to jump through any more hoops I’m going to join the circus!
I can’t wait to go see my psychiatrist again! These meds hangovers in the mornings stink! I haven’t been drunk since 1988 when I got saved but I’m remembering what some of those mornings are like! Like I’ve said before, I’ve got a fantastic psychiatrist and I know that she will make the changes that I need so I won’t have these med hangovers anymore!
Praise God again! I found out today that I’m getting some more scholarships! The way my scholarships and grants have been coming I can’t afford not to go to college! At last count I’m getting four small scholarships and one big, fat grant! Thank You Jesus!
Only 10 short weeks until baseball starts again! I’ve been searching Ebay for a few things I need gear wise & I’m already getting geared up and ready to go! I can hardly wait until I get to step up behind and say “PLAY BALL!” Oh Yea! I get goose bumps just typing that out! I still haven’t found anything that matches the rush of standing behind a catcher and watching a 90 mile per hour coming straight at your face!
And finally…
I love the “Air1 Verse of the Day” today. Matthew 6:34 Jesus says “So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.” I know that is so true! The way I was running to and fro today I had all I wanted! It was all I could do today to just keep up with today!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Monday, January 02, 2006
Wracking My Brains!
Sometimes this blog is so hard to write that I sit here wracking my brains trying to think of something semi intelligent to write and all I get is frustrated. The there are those time like a couple of days ago when something triggers me and it’s just like the Holy Spirit comes down all over me and I write some thing that even blows me away. Now that you mention it this does sound a little bit like life doesn’t it!
Today has been the former where I’ve been wracking my brains to come up with something, anything! I’m like “uh God, I’ve got this blog to write & I’m kind of brain dead here. Would it be too much to ask Lord if you would give me just a little something?” That’s kind of how my life went the last couple of weeks of 2005. I was like “uh God, would it be too much to ask if something, anything, went right?”
I would ask if you’ve ever felt like that but that would be a silly question. Of course we all get to those points in our lives where we would just like something, anything to go right. I think that there are times in our lives when the Lord purposefully allows our lives to get that way so we don’t forget who’s in control and so we remember to in fact call out to God.
I know I did quite a bit of calling out to God and I know that the Lord did hear me. Psalms 34:17 says “The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.” In addition we have the promise of Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” These are just two of the many, many verses that address this issue. In fact the book of Psalms is loaded with scripture such as this!
One example of God’s miraculous intervention is how we’ve been able to stay afloat with all of our bills with everything we’ve had going on. Loosing my great paying job back in October combined with my health issues has really tested our faith. Somehow we continue to squeak by & get at least our utilities & essential bills paid. Everyone else has agreed to wait until we get our income tax return to get paid. I tell everyone that we owe money to what our situation is and what I’m going to do and every last one has agreed to my terms. That is a miracle in my books!
One bright and shining star in all of this has been my wife. Every time without fail when I didn’t feel like going on or sometimes not even feeling like getting out of bed to go to church my wife has pressed on and lifted me up and got me going. I am so glad that Lord has put it on the heart of my wife and me to lift each other up. Last night my wife was hurting and I was able to lift her up.
Just as I talked about in my huge blog a couple of days ago I’ve been purposely going to my wife every day and asking her what’s on her mind. My wife loves me doing that and knowing that I actually do care what she is thinking and has to say. I truly believe that opening that line of communication with my wife will be one of the best marriage builders we’ve ever done!
I hope and pray your New Year is now off to a great start. My New Year ramps up tomorrow with the start of college. I’m taking some pre-term classes so I can bump my number of hours I’m taking this semester. How much time I’ll actually get to spend on this blog when college is in full swing is yet to be determined. But until then I’ll keep hammering away!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Today has been the former where I’ve been wracking my brains to come up with something, anything! I’m like “uh God, I’ve got this blog to write & I’m kind of brain dead here. Would it be too much to ask Lord if you would give me just a little something?” That’s kind of how my life went the last couple of weeks of 2005. I was like “uh God, would it be too much to ask if something, anything, went right?”
I would ask if you’ve ever felt like that but that would be a silly question. Of course we all get to those points in our lives where we would just like something, anything to go right. I think that there are times in our lives when the Lord purposefully allows our lives to get that way so we don’t forget who’s in control and so we remember to in fact call out to God.
I know I did quite a bit of calling out to God and I know that the Lord did hear me. Psalms 34:17 says “The LORD hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles.” In addition we have the promise of Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” These are just two of the many, many verses that address this issue. In fact the book of Psalms is loaded with scripture such as this!
One example of God’s miraculous intervention is how we’ve been able to stay afloat with all of our bills with everything we’ve had going on. Loosing my great paying job back in October combined with my health issues has really tested our faith. Somehow we continue to squeak by & get at least our utilities & essential bills paid. Everyone else has agreed to wait until we get our income tax return to get paid. I tell everyone that we owe money to what our situation is and what I’m going to do and every last one has agreed to my terms. That is a miracle in my books!
One bright and shining star in all of this has been my wife. Every time without fail when I didn’t feel like going on or sometimes not even feeling like getting out of bed to go to church my wife has pressed on and lifted me up and got me going. I am so glad that Lord has put it on the heart of my wife and me to lift each other up. Last night my wife was hurting and I was able to lift her up.
Just as I talked about in my huge blog a couple of days ago I’ve been purposely going to my wife every day and asking her what’s on her mind. My wife loves me doing that and knowing that I actually do care what she is thinking and has to say. I truly believe that opening that line of communication with my wife will be one of the best marriage builders we’ve ever done!
I hope and pray your New Year is now off to a great start. My New Year ramps up tomorrow with the start of college. I’m taking some pre-term classes so I can bump my number of hours I’m taking this semester. How much time I’ll actually get to spend on this blog when college is in full swing is yet to be determined. But until then I’ll keep hammering away!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Here we go! 2006!
Here we go! 2006! Yea! I had to start the New Year off with this pic. See, I do have a soft side! This pic is from my wife & I renewing our vows recently. I had to throw this one in. It's my favorite of 2005 & I thought it would be a great way to launch 2006!
I don’t know about you but for me I can tell you that even with everything I had going on in my life 2005 flew by pretty darn quick! I believe that this was the second shortest year I’ve experienced. The only shorter year that I’ve had was 2004 when I spent the whole year on the road and ran pretty much non stop. I will say that this year was definitely the shortest Holiday/Christmas season that I’ve ever had. Christmas was here and gone before I knew it!
As I look forward to year ahead I continually hear the Lord reminding me of the promise of Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” I am also drawn to what Jesus said in Matthew 7:7-11 "Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks. You parents--if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
I really feel the plans the Lord has for me for this year are really pretty simple. I need to keep on asking, seeking, and coming (knocking) to the Lord. In doing this I need to remember his promises that he has for me. 2005 may have ended in a bad way, but now that I have the Lord’s plan for my life for 2006 the future is really getting brighter, fast!
I know that seeking will be a big part of my life in 2006. I’m seeking to stabilize my Bipolar disorder. I’m seeking wisdom through the studying of God’s word, in particular the “Wisdom Books” such as Psalms & Proverbs. And I’m seeking knowledge through me going back to college. If I will do these things all the while seeking to God’s will through my life in general and being the husband and father the Lord has called me to be I know I’ll have a great 2006!
It’s up to me. The Lord has opened the doors for me. The year ahead is only as bright as I will make it. That’s one of the nice things about the way the Lord loves us, he makes everything we need available to us. All we have to do is follow His will in our lives.
I hope and pray that you too will have a great year!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
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