rApId cYcLiNg /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I just got a request for inforamtion on what it’s like to be in what’s called “Rapid Cycling.” I thought that the reply I gave would make a great post on my blog so here we go!

I spend the majority of my waking time in the hypo manic phase (just mildly wound up) and then sometimes something triggers me & I get anywhere for mildly to horribly depressed. What really stinks is when I get really depressed but I'm still all wound up and hypo manic. When that happens I feel like something is just literally trying to rip me apart. I'm blessed with some pretty smart kids and a smart wife I should add here. When they this happening in me they give me room to vent and a bunch of extra love. Many times too my wife will come and pray over me. Between the prayer and the hugs Mr. Hyde turns back in to the nice Dr. Jackal.

God has really done a lot of good work in my life. Normally I'm just a big ol’ teddy bear. I used to trigger and punch holes in walls & doors but that just got expensive and a pain to fix. With the Lords help I haven't done that in probably seven years now. At work a few years back I smacked myself in the head good and hard right above my right eye with a 2X3 board. In my fury while a customer was watching I grabbed that board and snapped it in my hands. Needless to say that customer took off in a hurry. I still chuckle when I think back on that one. I wasn’t going to hurt anyone or anything, it just hurt really bad and knocked the snot out of me!

Like I said, God really has done a good work in my life. Normally now when I get triggered and rapid cycle I go spend some time with God and get into the Bible and that really chills me out. I read where I'm not the first one to get triggered like this. Many people have said that King David suffered at time from depression which is pretty clear when you read the Psalms, and I also believe that possibly King David's mental woes at times went past that. I read what David did before he was king and how he rapid cycled in and out of depression. I also read how he gave his anger to God and how God used his anger for good. If the guy that became King of Israel and is in the linage of Jesus had to deal with rapid cycling then just maybe I can deal with it too.

Coping is the key to beating your mental illness. Coping is something in the past that I never learned. Due to my lack of coping skills I have failed miserably in the past at this thing we call life. Now that I’m learning from the Lord on how to cope and combine that with the treatment I receive from my Care Team my life is starting to turn. I still have a great deal to learn but the good news is the Lord and others are teaching me.

If someone that was as messed up as I was can turn my life around with the help of the Lord, I know that you can too!!!

Be Blessed!!!

BIG SCOTT