I felt God asking me that age old question today after church “If you were accused in court of being a Christian would there be enough evidence to convict you?” I think that this question came out of the discussion that my wife & I had last night. We were discussing how my meds are helping me or not helping me. We were also discussing what I was like before I went on meds earlier this year.
I know that before I went on meds earlier this year there were definitely some times that I probably would not have been convicted. Before I went on meds I was trying to self medicate myself. The biggest thing I was doing was terribly abusing over the counter (OTC) meds. I was consuming in particular OTC diet pills at somewhere between 4 & 6 times the maximum recommended dosage. Getting wired on speed meant that I was doing some really stupid stuff as my mind was racing so fast I basically didn’t care about consequences. I was only living for the minute.
When a person is only living for the minute and not giving much thought to ones future, it would be pretty safe to say that God was not real big in my life at that time. I would listen to my Christian radio stations trying to keep God in my life but yet I was cycling so hard between mania and depression that by the time I finally reached out for help I was living in what’s called a Mixed State. I was totally manic plus I was hurting on the inside so bad that I really didn’t care about life anymore. And yes, at that point, I would have found not guilty of being a Christian.
Since that day in early May when I hit the end of my rope I’ve been making a comeback. To say that God has been working in my life would be an understatement. God has really turned my life around in these eight short months. Now God is working to restore what the enemy has stolen over the past twenty five years. For once in my life I’m not living all of the time in a constant state of mania mixed with alternating crashes into depression.
God is working through my Care Team to bring a balance in my life. That balance is coming through several distinct avenues. The biggest area that God is bringing balance in my life is through my meds. Yes I do believe that God does work through doctors and through medicine. In addition God is also working to restore me through Talk Therapy or counseling if you will. By receiving counseling I now have a system of checks and balances in my life that I use to monitor my progress and to make sure I’m moving in the right direction. The culmination of everything God is doing in my life is in the fact that every week I feel I have just a little bit more of God’s filling in me of His Holy Spirit.
Our church is launching into a huge, multi year, multi country outreach to win to Jesus those that do not know Jesus as their personal savior. I am getting very excited about this outreach! I know that God is calling me to give of myself for this outreach. I’m even getting excited about the fact that once again I’m going to get to witness to those that don’t know Jesus!
So we’re back to where I started this column. Is there now enough evidence to convict me of being a Christian? My prayer is that yes, now there is enough. My prayer is also that every day there will be just a little bit more evidence to convict me. I hope and pray that one of these days we wouldn’t even need a trial to find out.
How about you? Where are you at? How much evidence is there against or for you? As of right now there is still the opportunity to build evidence!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
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