mIxEd sTaTeS

I have been buried deep in what’s known as a Mixed State the last two weeks or so.  Mixed States happen when one is experiencing both manic episodes and depression at the same time.  This is especially true with persons that are Bipolar II.  Normally I am in a Mixed State about one quarter to one third of the time.  Needless to say, one can feel very confused when one is in the Mixed States mode.  A common feeling that I get when I am in the Mixed States mode being very jittery, on edge, but yet have low drive or ambition to do anything.  It’s been a long time since I’ve been stuck in a Mixed State for so long.

I think I’m starting to drive my poor wife nuts.  One minute I’ll be down and the next thing you know I have a manic attack and do something totally off of the wall.  I guess the good news is that at least I’m having some manic time.  My manic times can get pretty hilarious at times.  Sometimes I feel like I’m caught in outtakes from the old Disney/Pixar movie “Monster’s Inc.”

I know the last two days my life would definitely have to be the Monster’s Inc. outtakes because it was way too wacky to make the final cut!  In the mornings lately I’ve had a hard time getting enough energy & enthusiasm to get out of bed but yet during the day I’ll be bouncing around like a manic Scully.  You remember Scully don’t you?  Scully was that great big blue, lovable, huggable monster?  

Lately I feel like, “Yup, that’s me!  I'm sometimes scary, sometimes huggable, & sometimes laughable funny!”  I guess the good news is that when my wife lets me out of the house I usually turn into that laughable monster.  Lately, no one has been safe from my zany antics & humor.  

My wife & I went to the bread store today.  We no more then walked into the bread store and I ran into another Mr. Manic.  I have never met this guy before in my life that I know of but he said something and I keyed off on him and it only took about 20 seconds and we had every poor person in that store just rolling in laughter.  It was all our respective wives could do to separate us!  I felt sorry for the poor gal that runs the bread store.  She was bent over laughing so hard that I thought she was going to hurt herself.

Oh well, leave it to God to give you laughter to balance out the pain!  Thank You Jesus for giving me a way to get through the pain.  I do have a new prayer now though…

Dear Jesus, Please give everyone else a way to escape my manic comedy!

I feel better now!

Thank You Jesus!

Be Blessed!!!

BIG SCOTT