I feel the need...

I feel the need… The need to blog! Sorry to use your line like that Mr. Cruise. I hope it doesn’t upset you TOO much! Oh btw… While you’re getting upset with me I might as well throw in that I DO believe in a REAL GOD, that my mental disorder is real, that there is REAL treatment for me in both medications & therapy and with the help of GOD plus my doctors & treatment team I will continue to improve. I also believe that if I follow the path GOD has set before me that includes my treatment team, and not go the way of some “dienetics practitioner” that I will beat my disorder! I very well may have this disorder the rest of my life. I’ve made it almost 43 years with it now and by following GOD’S plan, I expect the next 43 to be a whole bunch better!

WOW!!! That really felt good to say that!!! I mean REALLY, REALLY GOOD!!!

When facing a live altering diagnosis such as Bi-Polar Disorder why do I get so positive about the future? It’s because I know how hard I’ve fought in the past, especially the past ten years without any support from anyone other then a few close friends and my pastors. It’s because I can see how far I’ve come just this year since my diagnosis. It’s looking back at how far I made it with my disorders in place and for how long I’ve had this disorder.

My lifelong friends tell me I’ve had it since at least the sixth or seventh grade. Knowing that I’ve made it just to the start of this year when my treatment actually started tells me that if I can keep at least some of that fight alive that I used for the past 30+ years that I’ve got a pretty bright future! Jeremiah 29:11 says: For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

I know that there are many, many people out there traveling this same road of mental disorder that I’m on. There are some that find this road to be a little bit smoother then I’m finding it and for that I give God praise. But there are far, far more people out there traveling this road with me that find this road to be a great deal rougher then I’m finding it. It’s to this group of weary travelers that I reach out my hand. To offer unto these what I have that helps smooth out my road.

Who goes out before me to smooth my way? None other then Jesus himself! Jesus speaks to us in Matthew 11:28-30 saying: "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light." This is so incredibly true!

Tonight, I was having some problems figuring out just what it is that really do need to do since I lost my job almost two weeks ago. Finally I made myself a big cup of hot mint tea, ran a nice big hot bath, my loving wife brought in a candle and turned out the lights, and then I put my headphones on with some really great Christian music. I was in this mode for a little over an hour until I wiped out all of hot water.

Slipping away like I did meant that I got to spend quite a bit of time on a Saturday night with my Father (God)! It was just Father & I. No one else! I laid there and told my Father what I was feeling and what my problems were. I then listened and my Father just ministered to me and spoke to my heart. I now have a direction in which way to go. I know where to start. I need to do this more often!

If you’re traveling down life’s road and it’s getting to rough for you might I suggest going to Jesus and ask Jesus to lead you so that you too can find a smoother, gentler road to travel? The prospect of having to travel life’s road, especially if that road is taken up with a mental disorder, without the hand of Jesus to guide me is just too scary for me. I know that I’ve got a disorder, that I’ve got problems, and that I can’t make it on my own.

This is from the heart tonight. I hope and pray that somehow a piece of my heart has reached out and touched your heart. I hope and pray that this blog leads you to think about where you’re at. I hope that I can help someone have a better life through Jesus!If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to click on my picture on the top right, then click on my email link on the page that opens up & send me your thoughts or questions. I’d love to hear from you! If you have any prayer requests let me know! Not only will I pray for you but I’ll also submit your prayer request to our church’s prayer team. Don’t worry, everything will be kept confidential!

Be Blessed!!!

BIG SCOTT