What is a “blog”? Dictionary.com defines a blog as “to author an online diary or chronology of thoughts.” I guess it would be something you would see on Star Trek when the Captain says “Captain’s Log, Star date…” If I may be allowed to take a spin on that then, I could say since I the head or the “Captain” of our home let me just say “Captain’s Log, Starship Chaos, Star date Lost in time somewhere in 2005.” The way today has gone, I kind of feel lost in space somewhere!
We set a new record today. Actually we set two new records today. The first record was the amount of Happy Meal toys that ones kids can plug a toilet with. The second record was the size of the Happy Meal toys that our kids were able to get stuck in the toilet. I’m going to run this one by one of the mechanical engineering Profs at college. I didn’t think there was any way possible to get a toy that big not only past the first bend in the toilet but in fact they made it all the way to the second bend, up by the tank in the toilet!
With that said, I get to purchase a new toilet tomorrow. Unfortunately during the thirty minute wrestling match I had with the toilet in the front yard trying to get all of the toys out somehow either the toilet or I got into a bad hold, and, well, I kind of broke the toilet. When the wrestling match started I didn’t see any neighbors in their yards but by the time I finished most of the neighbors were differently in their yards. I guess they never saw a main event like that before!
Oh, BTW… I called and checked today about my unemployment insurance and yep, it’s still running @ Government Speed. UGH!!!
Hope this at least finds things going great for you!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
The Fred Challenge!
I try to read one chapter of Proverbs every day. Proverbs has 31 chapters which works out nice since all but one month has either 30 or 31 days. A good friend and Christian brother of mine, Fred of Fred’s Smoked Meats, challenged me some time back to read a one chapter of Proverbs every day for a year. This is what I call the “Fred Challenge.”
Today, being the 9th I’m reading Proverbs 9 & verses 1-12 really jump out at me.
“1 Wisdom has built her spacious house with seven pillars. 2She has prepared a great banquet, mixed the wines, and set the table. 3She has sent her servants to invite everyone to come. She calls out from the heights overlooking the city. 4"Come home with me," she urges the simple. To those without good judgment, she says, 5"Come, eat my food, and drink the wine I have mixed. 6Leave your foolish ways behind, and begin to live; learn how to be wise."
7Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get a smart retort. Anyone who rebukes the wicked will get hurt. 8So don't bother rebuking mockers; they will only hate you. But the wise, when rebuked, will love you all the more. 9Teach the wise and they will be wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn more.
10Fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in understanding.
11Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life. 12If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit. If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.”
These twelve verses speak volumes to me in a two-fold way. First I know that as I read the Book of Proverbs every day I will gain wisdom that I can use in my everyday life. Proverbs and Psalms are known as the “Wisdom Books” in the Bible. After six months of this I can really tell a big difference in how I look at things and people in my everyday life. The second point that is made to me here is that I also get a reaffirmation that yes, I do indeed need to keep pursuing my college education.
I challenge you to take the Fred Challenge. You might just be amazed how much wisdom God will pour into you through the Fred Challenge!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Today, being the 9th I’m reading Proverbs 9 & verses 1-12 really jump out at me.
“1 Wisdom has built her spacious house with seven pillars. 2She has prepared a great banquet, mixed the wines, and set the table. 3She has sent her servants to invite everyone to come. She calls out from the heights overlooking the city. 4"Come home with me," she urges the simple. To those without good judgment, she says, 5"Come, eat my food, and drink the wine I have mixed. 6Leave your foolish ways behind, and begin to live; learn how to be wise."
7Anyone who rebukes a mocker will get a smart retort. Anyone who rebukes the wicked will get hurt. 8So don't bother rebuking mockers; they will only hate you. But the wise, when rebuked, will love you all the more. 9Teach the wise and they will be wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn more.
10Fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom. Knowledge of the Holy One results in understanding.
11Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life. 12If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit. If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.”
These twelve verses speak volumes to me in a two-fold way. First I know that as I read the Book of Proverbs every day I will gain wisdom that I can use in my everyday life. Proverbs and Psalms are known as the “Wisdom Books” in the Bible. After six months of this I can really tell a big difference in how I look at things and people in my everyday life. The second point that is made to me here is that I also get a reaffirmation that yes, I do indeed need to keep pursuing my college education.
I challenge you to take the Fred Challenge. You might just be amazed how much wisdom God will pour into you through the Fred Challenge!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Government Speed!
Sheesh! These past couple of weeks sure have seemed to be a big struggle. I’m not sure why but I feel like instead of being in my normal Warp 3 speed that I normally cruise in that I’ve been stuck in a 20 mph perpetual school zone! Some days I feel like I’m even stuck in “Government Speed!”
If you want to know just how slow Government Speed really is, try this for example. I was told again today that our state unemployment agency has until November 17th to make a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. By law they told me they have 30 days to make a decision whether a person will get unemployment benefits. That’s great other then the fact that I just filed my weekly benefits report for the FIFTH week today!
Let’s see, 7 days times 5 weeks equals 35 days. Now add to that I was told that they have until the 17th to make a decision, right? The 17th is 9 days from today. So we add 9 days to the 35 days since I filed and you get 44 days, right? Now you know what Government Speed is, 44 days to do 30 days work!
I do not feel all bad about this though. Our esteemed Governor that moved here to Kansas a while back from BOSTON has been telling us that she is making everything better! That’s good to know as I would hate to think what it would be like without her help from the East Coast! It’s been many, many years since I’ve filed for unemployment benefits, but if I remember right it only took about 3 weeks/21 days to get my benefits to me in my 30 day deadline!
Now that you mention it, maybe I’m not moving all that slowly. Maybe all I need to do is change which speedometer I’m using. Let’s all run out and get us a “Kansas Government Speedometer.” If we do we’ll all feel better because at least we’ll feel like we’re moving a whole lot faster!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
If you want to know just how slow Government Speed really is, try this for example. I was told again today that our state unemployment agency has until November 17th to make a decision on my application for unemployment benefits. By law they told me they have 30 days to make a decision whether a person will get unemployment benefits. That’s great other then the fact that I just filed my weekly benefits report for the FIFTH week today!
Let’s see, 7 days times 5 weeks equals 35 days. Now add to that I was told that they have until the 17th to make a decision, right? The 17th is 9 days from today. So we add 9 days to the 35 days since I filed and you get 44 days, right? Now you know what Government Speed is, 44 days to do 30 days work!
I do not feel all bad about this though. Our esteemed Governor that moved here to Kansas a while back from BOSTON has been telling us that she is making everything better! That’s good to know as I would hate to think what it would be like without her help from the East Coast! It’s been many, many years since I’ve filed for unemployment benefits, but if I remember right it only took about 3 weeks/21 days to get my benefits to me in my 30 day deadline!
Now that you mention it, maybe I’m not moving all that slowly. Maybe all I need to do is change which speedometer I’m using. Let’s all run out and get us a “Kansas Government Speedometer.” If we do we’ll all feel better because at least we’ll feel like we’re moving a whole lot faster!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Monday, November 07, 2005
Something Good Just Happened!!!
I guess one way to tell that your blog is doing some good is when something good happens due to your blog. Last night I had an ol’ friend call me last night that I haven’t seen in person in a number years. We’ve stayed in touch via emails & phone calls but for various reasons we haven’t seen each other in probably ten years or so. My friend called me up and said that his wife had just asked for a legal separation.
We talked for a bit and my friend had told me that he was inspired by what I was writing in my blog. He was particularly moved by what I wrote about how God was working to bring me health and healing and that I was allowing God to use whatever means God chose to use. My friend had been following my blog very closely because he was dealing with some of the same issues I’ve had to deal with.
Here’s a quick recap here for those that haven’t been following closely or have just joined us. I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Depression, & Adult ADHD. The path that I’m following which I feel is absolutely led by God is medication therapy, talk therapy with a psychologist on a bi-weekly basis, and marriage counseling with our pastor on a weekly basis. As far as meds go I’m taking Straterra for my ADHD, Lexapro for my depression and Seroquel & Geodon for my Bipolar disorder.
My friend told me that he and his wife were fighting quite a bit, nothing physical, but it definitely was verbally offensive and most certainly not of God. My friend also told me he was taking some anti-depressant meds too. I asked him if they had been to counseling. He told me that they had gone for a while to one guy and then some time back he moved away from the area and they really hadn’t settled in with another counselor yet. I also inquired as to his church attendance and found out the wife was going to church and he was doing Sunday morning church TV.
I thank God so very much that I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me because I didn’t have a clue what to say last night when he called. I just did on of those three second, silent, emergency prayers when he started talking. I just said “OK God, I’m blank! Help me out here!” You know what? God did just that!
I fumbled along and told my friend as soon as he got off of the phone to go to his wife and her in a humble way if she would let him pray over her and pray for the both of them. I also told him they need to get in with a good Christian counselor since they’re both Christians. I then gave him the “Fred Challenge” which is reading the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to that day.
Guess what? It worked! God did it! I spoke with my friend this evening and he told me that yes they did pray together last night and they had spoken some again today already. The smoke & flames were gone today! My friend and his wife had gotten deeper last night and today then they had in years!
The parting words that I gave my friend this evening was to just be humble, keep praying, get into a good church and be there more then just on Sunday mornings, find a good Christian marriage counselor, and since they were both open to it, talk with either their family doctor or preferably a good psychiatrist.
Funny how things can change for the better when God is leading! I’m reminded of 2 Chronicles 7:14 “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.” Who’s called by God? You are, my friend and his family are, and I am. Anyone who hears the word of God is called.
God is a loving God! God wants nothing more then to heal broken hearts, mend broken relationships, and restore what the enemy has stolen. Praise God that God was able to work through my blog! I don’t take the credit for it as I was the one that lost for words. It was entirely a “God Thing!”
Thank You Jesus!!!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
We talked for a bit and my friend had told me that he was inspired by what I was writing in my blog. He was particularly moved by what I wrote about how God was working to bring me health and healing and that I was allowing God to use whatever means God chose to use. My friend had been following my blog very closely because he was dealing with some of the same issues I’ve had to deal with.
Here’s a quick recap here for those that haven’t been following closely or have just joined us. I was finally diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, Depression, & Adult ADHD. The path that I’m following which I feel is absolutely led by God is medication therapy, talk therapy with a psychologist on a bi-weekly basis, and marriage counseling with our pastor on a weekly basis. As far as meds go I’m taking Straterra for my ADHD, Lexapro for my depression and Seroquel & Geodon for my Bipolar disorder.
My friend told me that he and his wife were fighting quite a bit, nothing physical, but it definitely was verbally offensive and most certainly not of God. My friend also told me he was taking some anti-depressant meds too. I asked him if they had been to counseling. He told me that they had gone for a while to one guy and then some time back he moved away from the area and they really hadn’t settled in with another counselor yet. I also inquired as to his church attendance and found out the wife was going to church and he was doing Sunday morning church TV.
I thank God so very much that I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me because I didn’t have a clue what to say last night when he called. I just did on of those three second, silent, emergency prayers when he started talking. I just said “OK God, I’m blank! Help me out here!” You know what? God did just that!
I fumbled along and told my friend as soon as he got off of the phone to go to his wife and her in a humble way if she would let him pray over her and pray for the both of them. I also told him they need to get in with a good Christian counselor since they’re both Christians. I then gave him the “Fred Challenge” which is reading the chapter of Proverbs that corresponds to that day.
Guess what? It worked! God did it! I spoke with my friend this evening and he told me that yes they did pray together last night and they had spoken some again today already. The smoke & flames were gone today! My friend and his wife had gotten deeper last night and today then they had in years!
The parting words that I gave my friend this evening was to just be humble, keep praying, get into a good church and be there more then just on Sunday mornings, find a good Christian marriage counselor, and since they were both open to it, talk with either their family doctor or preferably a good psychiatrist.
Funny how things can change for the better when God is leading! I’m reminded of 2 Chronicles 7:14 “Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.” Who’s called by God? You are, my friend and his family are, and I am. Anyone who hears the word of God is called.
God is a loving God! God wants nothing more then to heal broken hearts, mend broken relationships, and restore what the enemy has stolen. Praise God that God was able to work through my blog! I don’t take the credit for it as I was the one that lost for words. It was entirely a “God Thing!”
Thank You Jesus!!!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
Friday, November 04, 2005
My Kewl Sis!
I’ve got such a kewl Sister! OK, a whole bunch of people just went “Huh? A sister? Since when have you had a sister?” I guess I had better back up a little ways here!
Let’s go back to 1970’s Ingalls, Kansas. We’re going back to 1975 to be exact. My Father, Mother, & I moved in to Ingalls from the country right before my Father passed away in early 1974. In 1975 if I remember right our class was blessed with a perky little girl named Robin. Robin and I had a lot of stuff in common. For starters, we were both adopted. Another thing that Robin and I had in common was that we were both made fun of quite a bit.
Robin lived just a half block down the street from me which meant that Robin lived about half way to school on the route that I walked. Many, many times I would hang out at Robins doing homework and stuff until our parents got home, which just happened to be at the same time since Robins dad was the town banker and my Mom just happened to work for him. Kind of handy here, don’t you think?
Anyway, Robin got me through a bunch of my classes, especially math & algebra. I didn’t know it at the time but looking back I know even back then I was ADHD & being ADHD my study time shall we say, stunk! I hated to study outside of class! I couldn’t keep my attention in a book for more then five minutes if my life would have depended on it! Here is where Robin came to the rescue!
Many times Robin would help me with my studies and keep me applied to studying even when I was in another world. I guess at times I was a pretty good project for Robin! If it wasn’t for Robin I would probably be stuck in Mr. Batmans 7th Grade Algebra! Thank you Robin for saving me there!
Robin was the only girl in her family. Robin had two brothers. The older one was the jerk that always picked on Robin and I while the younger one was the little kid. With that in mind, it’s easy to see why Robin and I developed such a close relationship, basically adopting each other as brother and sister. Hey, we were both adopted once already, why not do it again!
After graduation Robin and I went our separate ways. Both of us wound up in the world doing garbage that definitely was not pleasing to God. We both got ourselves into a ton of trouble. For almost twenty years we did not even have contact with each other.
Now here’s the amazing part. After that twenty year period, Robin and I gradually started making contact with each other again. Early this year when my life basically collapsed I felt God telling me to call Robin. Feeling hopeless and with no where to turn and basically feeling like I didn’t care anyway I called Robin. What God did in that phone call was an absolute classic, move of the Holy Spirit!
God instantly mended our brother/sister relationship and God used His Holy Spirit to move through Robin to minister to me in a way to this day still sends tingles running down my back when I think of it. God spoke to Robin and gave her words in the Holy Spirit that was exactly what was needed to be said to save my life!
Since that first phone call this year, Robin and I have spent a great deal of time talking with each other. In fact, God has allowed me to even minister back to Robin on a few occasions! Now our spouses are involved too! It hilarious when my wife & Robin get on the phone as they start cackling like a couple of supercharged hens! Anyone taking bets on me being in trouble now?
Anyway, yesterday I was having trouble with my meds & I called Robin. I knew what I needed to do but I just wasn’t doing it. Robin crawled up inside of my ear via that phone and chewed me out and got me going in the right direction again. Just for the record, I did do as Robin said to do and I called my nurse & filled her in on what was going on. The nurse got a hold of the doctor like Robin said she would. It didn’t take long and phone was ringing and the doctor was making some serious changes on my meds, once again, just like Robin said she would! It sure is nice having a wise sister!
After Robin got done chewing me out last night we also had some fun on the phone. We decided that next August we’re going to have a family reunion right here in Wichita! Kelly & Mardell are planning on coming down from Colorado Springs. We’ll get Barry to fly in from Chicago. And we’re hoping everyone else will stop on by and see us too! I can hardly wait! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of all of the restoration God has in the works for our little family!
I could keep rambling on about Robin and the rest of our little family known as the Ingalls High Class of 81’ but I better stop here. Just to interject a side note here. When there are only 17 of you graduating together in a class, it’s no longer just a class, it’s a family!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Let’s go back to 1970’s Ingalls, Kansas. We’re going back to 1975 to be exact. My Father, Mother, & I moved in to Ingalls from the country right before my Father passed away in early 1974. In 1975 if I remember right our class was blessed with a perky little girl named Robin. Robin and I had a lot of stuff in common. For starters, we were both adopted. Another thing that Robin and I had in common was that we were both made fun of quite a bit.
Robin lived just a half block down the street from me which meant that Robin lived about half way to school on the route that I walked. Many, many times I would hang out at Robins doing homework and stuff until our parents got home, which just happened to be at the same time since Robins dad was the town banker and my Mom just happened to work for him. Kind of handy here, don’t you think?
Anyway, Robin got me through a bunch of my classes, especially math & algebra. I didn’t know it at the time but looking back I know even back then I was ADHD & being ADHD my study time shall we say, stunk! I hated to study outside of class! I couldn’t keep my attention in a book for more then five minutes if my life would have depended on it! Here is where Robin came to the rescue!
Many times Robin would help me with my studies and keep me applied to studying even when I was in another world. I guess at times I was a pretty good project for Robin! If it wasn’t for Robin I would probably be stuck in Mr. Batmans 7th Grade Algebra! Thank you Robin for saving me there!
Robin was the only girl in her family. Robin had two brothers. The older one was the jerk that always picked on Robin and I while the younger one was the little kid. With that in mind, it’s easy to see why Robin and I developed such a close relationship, basically adopting each other as brother and sister. Hey, we were both adopted once already, why not do it again!
After graduation Robin and I went our separate ways. Both of us wound up in the world doing garbage that definitely was not pleasing to God. We both got ourselves into a ton of trouble. For almost twenty years we did not even have contact with each other.
Now here’s the amazing part. After that twenty year period, Robin and I gradually started making contact with each other again. Early this year when my life basically collapsed I felt God telling me to call Robin. Feeling hopeless and with no where to turn and basically feeling like I didn’t care anyway I called Robin. What God did in that phone call was an absolute classic, move of the Holy Spirit!
God instantly mended our brother/sister relationship and God used His Holy Spirit to move through Robin to minister to me in a way to this day still sends tingles running down my back when I think of it. God spoke to Robin and gave her words in the Holy Spirit that was exactly what was needed to be said to save my life!
Since that first phone call this year, Robin and I have spent a great deal of time talking with each other. In fact, God has allowed me to even minister back to Robin on a few occasions! Now our spouses are involved too! It hilarious when my wife & Robin get on the phone as they start cackling like a couple of supercharged hens! Anyone taking bets on me being in trouble now?
Anyway, yesterday I was having trouble with my meds & I called Robin. I knew what I needed to do but I just wasn’t doing it. Robin crawled up inside of my ear via that phone and chewed me out and got me going in the right direction again. Just for the record, I did do as Robin said to do and I called my nurse & filled her in on what was going on. The nurse got a hold of the doctor like Robin said she would. It didn’t take long and phone was ringing and the doctor was making some serious changes on my meds, once again, just like Robin said she would! It sure is nice having a wise sister!
After Robin got done chewing me out last night we also had some fun on the phone. We decided that next August we’re going to have a family reunion right here in Wichita! Kelly & Mardell are planning on coming down from Colorado Springs. We’ll get Barry to fly in from Chicago. And we’re hoping everyone else will stop on by and see us too! I can hardly wait! It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of all of the restoration God has in the works for our little family!
I could keep rambling on about Robin and the rest of our little family known as the Ingalls High Class of 81’ but I better stop here. Just to interject a side note here. When there are only 17 of you graduating together in a class, it’s no longer just a class, it’s a family!
Be Blessed!
BIG SCOTT
Thursday, November 03, 2005
DON'T WAIT!!!
disclaimer: If you got this post in your e-mail, skip on down to the next one. I put them up @ the same time. Big Scott
I’ve been meaning to write this the last few times and somehow I’ve managed to get sidetracked and I blew it off.
If you’re feeling down, if you have the blues and you just can’t shake them, if things are in a perpetual state of going wrong, if you’re have repeated bad thoughts about yourself or others it may just be more than the simple blues.
There is help available! DON’T WAIT! Talk with your family physician, your pastor, or a licensed counselor. They can give you direction where you need to go to get further help.
DON’T WAIT!!! Don’t make the same mistake I did & wait. I cry when I think how my life could have been different if I would have got help 15, 10, 5, even 1 or 2 years ago!
Most cities/counties have help available at reduced costs if you need it! I bought the garbage the enemy fed me for 25 years about psychiatric help before I reached out. That wait almost cost me my life!
If you’re not struggling, but you know someone who is, reach out to them. DON’T WAIT!!! There are two things I seek to do for others- 1: Show them Jesus! 2: Reach out to the hurting and lead them to the proverbially well where they too can receive help!
I have a complete list of resources where a person can go to get help thanks to the Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) & The National Mental Health Association. Please feel free to email me & I’ll be more then happy to make all of my resources available to anyone in need!
The Holidays are here. Statistically this is the worst time of the year for suicides. This is mainly due to the feeling of loneliness & worthlessness some people get at this time of year.
This year please join with me in giving someone one of the greatest gifts one could ever get here on this Earth, their life back!
Be Blessed!!!
Big Scott
I’ve been meaning to write this the last few times and somehow I’ve managed to get sidetracked and I blew it off.
If you’re feeling down, if you have the blues and you just can’t shake them, if things are in a perpetual state of going wrong, if you’re have repeated bad thoughts about yourself or others it may just be more than the simple blues.
There is help available! DON’T WAIT! Talk with your family physician, your pastor, or a licensed counselor. They can give you direction where you need to go to get further help.
DON’T WAIT!!! Don’t make the same mistake I did & wait. I cry when I think how my life could have been different if I would have got help 15, 10, 5, even 1 or 2 years ago!
Most cities/counties have help available at reduced costs if you need it! I bought the garbage the enemy fed me for 25 years about psychiatric help before I reached out. That wait almost cost me my life!
If you’re not struggling, but you know someone who is, reach out to them. DON’T WAIT!!! There are two things I seek to do for others- 1: Show them Jesus! 2: Reach out to the hurting and lead them to the proverbially well where they too can receive help!
I have a complete list of resources where a person can go to get help thanks to the Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA) & The National Mental Health Association. Please feel free to email me & I’ll be more then happy to make all of my resources available to anyone in need!
The Holidays are here. Statistically this is the worst time of the year for suicides. This is mainly due to the feeling of loneliness & worthlessness some people get at this time of year.
This year please join with me in giving someone one of the greatest gifts one could ever get here on this Earth, their life back!
Be Blessed!!!
Big Scott
Roller Caoster Stuck @ Bottom Again!
Roller Coasters Stink!!! I’m not talking about the ones you ride, I like them. I’m talking about the roller coasters that one can be on with your meds. Right now I’m on a roller coaster while my psychiatrist is trying to get my meds straightened out. Some days are good while other days like the one I had today stink!
I’m on a fairly new drug called Geodon. Geodon is supposed to be a great drug for helping to even out Bipolar symptoms. The only problem is that with some people Geodon will elevate your blood pressure. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people. I’m doing better with Geodon, but I still don’t like it!
The last few days haven’t been to terribly bad, some light headedness, but overall nothing that I couldn’t cope with. Today was not one of those days! Today I felt at times like I was going to pass out at times. At other times my eyeballs felt like I had just let George Foreman use them for a punching bag a few times as they hurt!
I’ve been chatting on line in the DBSA Invision Power Board. This board is put up by the “Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance” or just “DBSA.” In my previous writings I’ve mentioned how great the DBSA is & how big a help they are for those of us with Bipolar disorder. What I’ve found out from others in this group, plus talking with some of my friends & family that have traveled down the road of mental illness before is that I am not alone in this travel. It normally takes awhile for a person with a mental disorder to get their meds balanced out.
In addition, I’ve found out quite a few things about all of the meds that I’m on. One thing that scares me through all of this is that if I’m not careful, I can very easily become overmedicated or even wind up on a medical disability due to my meds. Disability is something that I’m working hard to avoid. That is why I’m not giving up & throwing in the towel. I have set it in my Heart to beat this.
I look at life a different way now. Now that I know that it’s Bipolar disorder that basically destroyed the past twenty-five years of my life. Bipolar disorder took from me almost everything that I ever cared about, loved, or busted my butt for. At one time Bipolar disorder even took all of my family from me. I knew there had to be something wrong with me but I could never find someone to believe me or care enough to get me the help I so deperately needed.
For years and years I was always told my failures were due to my crazy ideas, I just wasn’t living right, or some other lame excuse. No more excuses! Now I have an answer! Now I’m getting somewhere.
This roller coaster that I’m on is still marked progress over where I’ve come from. Yes this roller caoster stinks, bad! Yes, I hate being on this roller coaster but I know that God has given me one of the very best Care Teams that one could ever hope or pray for.
I’ve got an appointment coming up with my psychiatrist and I know that she will do something right to stop this roller coaster. But for the next two weeks if you see me & I’m not my normal, mainc self, just smile and say “Hey Scott! You’re roller coaster stuck in the bottom again?” At least I’ll know you read this! Who knows, that might just be the spark I need to get a little mania going!
Oh, btw… By my figures, Bipolar has now consumed the last 25 years of my life. From the time I was a Senior in high school until now. As soon as this roller coaster stops I’m getting off and making up a whole bunch of lost ground. I know that I know that I know Jesus is plotting new courses for me! I’m closing in on my first college degree! Praise God!
For once in my life I’m starting to hear and believe God when he tells me I’m not a failure!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
I’m on a fairly new drug called Geodon. Geodon is supposed to be a great drug for helping to even out Bipolar symptoms. The only problem is that with some people Geodon will elevate your blood pressure. Unfortunately, I’m one of those people. I’m doing better with Geodon, but I still don’t like it!
The last few days haven’t been to terribly bad, some light headedness, but overall nothing that I couldn’t cope with. Today was not one of those days! Today I felt at times like I was going to pass out at times. At other times my eyeballs felt like I had just let George Foreman use them for a punching bag a few times as they hurt!
I’ve been chatting on line in the DBSA Invision Power Board. This board is put up by the “Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance” or just “DBSA.” In my previous writings I’ve mentioned how great the DBSA is & how big a help they are for those of us with Bipolar disorder. What I’ve found out from others in this group, plus talking with some of my friends & family that have traveled down the road of mental illness before is that I am not alone in this travel. It normally takes awhile for a person with a mental disorder to get their meds balanced out.
In addition, I’ve found out quite a few things about all of the meds that I’m on. One thing that scares me through all of this is that if I’m not careful, I can very easily become overmedicated or even wind up on a medical disability due to my meds. Disability is something that I’m working hard to avoid. That is why I’m not giving up & throwing in the towel. I have set it in my Heart to beat this.
I look at life a different way now. Now that I know that it’s Bipolar disorder that basically destroyed the past twenty-five years of my life. Bipolar disorder took from me almost everything that I ever cared about, loved, or busted my butt for. At one time Bipolar disorder even took all of my family from me. I knew there had to be something wrong with me but I could never find someone to believe me or care enough to get me the help I so deperately needed.
For years and years I was always told my failures were due to my crazy ideas, I just wasn’t living right, or some other lame excuse. No more excuses! Now I have an answer! Now I’m getting somewhere.
This roller coaster that I’m on is still marked progress over where I’ve come from. Yes this roller caoster stinks, bad! Yes, I hate being on this roller coaster but I know that God has given me one of the very best Care Teams that one could ever hope or pray for.
I’ve got an appointment coming up with my psychiatrist and I know that she will do something right to stop this roller coaster. But for the next two weeks if you see me & I’m not my normal, mainc self, just smile and say “Hey Scott! You’re roller coaster stuck in the bottom again?” At least I’ll know you read this! Who knows, that might just be the spark I need to get a little mania going!
Oh, btw… By my figures, Bipolar has now consumed the last 25 years of my life. From the time I was a Senior in high school until now. As soon as this roller coaster stops I’m getting off and making up a whole bunch of lost ground. I know that I know that I know Jesus is plotting new courses for me! I’m closing in on my first college degree! Praise God!
For once in my life I’m starting to hear and believe God when he tells me I’m not a failure!
Be Blessed!!!
BIG SCOTT
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